The Saga of Mom's Fish

My Mom is in a nursing home for rehab purposes. We are so hoping that she doesn't have to stay there forever.

Before Christmas, I saved and saved and bought Mom some fish and a lot of things she needed for her aquarium. I am sure my mother has accidentally killed more goldfish than any other human being in the world.

Anyway, the deal was I would take care of the tank and she would name them, love them and feed them, but not touch the tank.

Mom's been in the hospital and then the nursing home since Christmas Eve. I had been trying to go to Mom's house every day to feed the fish, but I had surgery and was off my feet for over a week. My brother and niece wanted to flush my fish down the commode! In fact, they demanded it.

I insisted that they not do that. I scratched and saved and did without to buy them for Mom and darn it, no one is flushing them unless they're dead.

So today "Miss Germophobic" here went and took the aquarium apart, cleaned every bit of it, and carried it, the parts, and the fish over here. The only place I had to put them is my dining table. I don't want fish on my table, but I can't afford to buy a stand and it would be a waste because I want to give them back to Mom when she gets to come home.

I am so worn out. I haven't regained my strength from the surgery and I'm having to take pain meds to be able to walk. I feel like screaming.

I do realize this must seem really minute to all of you. I'm sure it is minute in the grand scheme of things, but I still feel like screaming.

Jan

(((( Jan ))))

You are a good daughter.

Jan I know how that feels. Only Dad went out and bought the fish and they reproduced and reproduced ... etc etc... several times. I had to find homes for these things! And he went and bought birds too!!!!!!!!!! I SAID ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! He just took it upon himself to think I was gonna take care of whatever he wanted to have!!!!! I am sorry but I got his house and my house to take care of and a dog he gave to me ( which I do not mind dogs I love my Heidi Sue) But for him to think he could just get whatever he wanted and I would care for them no way!! Your doing what you want to do and thats ok. Too bad they wont allow it at the nursing home for her. I just hate seeing people have to take on more then what they can handle .

((((((((((((( Jan )))))))))))))))))

those are lucky fish to have you

You are always so caring. Scream , scream scream if you need to.

((((((((((((((((( Friends ))))))))))))))))))

Thank you so much for the support. Thank you over and over.

My niece ratted me out to Mom about the fish. She called wanting to know all about them. I had to tell her that her algae eater died a couple weeks ago. She didn't take it well and I had to tell her all the details about the three that are left.

I got up this morning hoping and praying I wouldn't find them belly up but so far so good.

Thank again,

Jan

I think you are so compassionate and a good daughter.
It really sucks when siblings and/or their spouses are not supportive during family crisis.
They are not considering your mom in a sense, what I mean they know the fish give her some joy in life, and here he and/or his spouse aren't even considerate in this. Grrrr!
I go and take care of my mom's cat, mom's dementia has caused her to neglect scooping the litter and grooming the cat, poor thing is almost ferral by now (sarcasm) but in my heart I could never get rid of something that gives her some joy in her joyless world.
When my brother makes remarks, "if you are burdened helping with the cat and mom is too lazy with it, get rid of it!"
Jan, I do not think sons understand the way us daughters do.
I'm not throwing coals on a fire, but they really are a joke sometimes, they see the caregiver can use some care/help to be the caregiver for their parent(s) and they can't even offer that, grrrrrrrr!! I really feel family members can be so selfish when it comes to caring for someone. Your mom is lucky and blessed to have you, always remember you've done and/or do your best, and that is the best you can do. Your health and needs are just as important.
Take good care,
DE

((((((((((( January ))))))))))))