Support For How to Dealing With A Person with ASPD/Sociopath/Psychopath

I know a few people who are close to me who have NPD and ASPD. They don't want to seek treatment at all... They think therapist and psychiatrists don't understand NPD and ASPD. They say the DSM spreads stigma... So I thought it would best I ask my personal support team, which includes members and professionals on this site how to handle this person.

I'd like to know if anyone out there is close to someone with ASPD and how they handle it.

I also found this link: Dealing with a sociopath - 9 unbreakable rules

Looks useful but I'd prefer advice of people who have been around a socio/psychopath/ASPD and know already how to handle it. I can't just cut off contact with person either. We work together. He's already tried manipulating me. It failed because I figured out he was a sociopath pretty quickly. The others in the workplace don't even know what ASPD/Sociopathy really is. He's already got a couple of them bent around his finger. This is making my job hard and I don't know what to do.

Thanks

sorry, i am a professional but i dont have much experience dealing with sociopaths. but i wanted to thank you for posting those tips. they were very informative.

1. Don't make any threats like exposure, or worse, do it.
2. Learn to practice metacognition
3. Accept that there is only so much you can control, and in reality that is just yourself.
4. Keep to the facts (as mentioned in the article)
5. Don't go out of your way to avoid them. Unless you want them to put you in positions where that is impossible more often, this is a big one.
6. They aren't just out to hurt you. Find ways to make it so you both get what you want. IE: If you feel you're being controlled a bit, let it happen but be mindful and set yourself limits.

Thanks for the tips, Matt

I have been trying to do some of what you and the article have said

It is nearly impossible to completely avoid him. He has not tried to twart most my attempts at avoiding him, but he is very patient and will usually just wait until I am back at work to get to provoke me/try to make me angry. He does it on purpose because he thinks its fun, doesn't like me, or something...

I really really just wish he would stop. I have even tried the direct approach so I could bring him aside and tell him to stop but he didn't want to talk privately so....

And... It is not that I am just being a little bit controlled. This guy is completely crossing the line. I am actually close to quiting this job, which I love a lot and have had for a long time, just and simply because of him.

Wish I just knew why he has such a problem with me. You know? I have asked and he keeps denying there is anything going on, but he is lying... Really frustrating.

Kinda just do not know what to do...

Any tips you have would be great. Thanks.

My only advice is to focus on yourself and your self control.

Does anyone else here have advice/support/questions?

(That has not been diagnosed with ASPD)

I'm not sure, but wouldn't I be a good source? If I'm telling you tips on it, wouldn't they be from experience from the other side of the fence?

Your tips have been fine, Matt. Was just looking for a little more variety I DO want experiences from other individuals, as well. So far, all you have said is basically, metacognition and work on myself. I can not just avoid this guy. I have to work with him. He is on a team of developers and tech contractors working on a project with a client of ours. "Working on yourself" is not really useful advice in this scenario.

I want to hear from more people than, JUST YOU. Thanks

I didn't say to ignore him, i said to work on yourself. That means work on your reactions to him, recognizing when you're feeling upset by him, and a neutral solution that will not put either of you in a bad position. He can only get to you if you let him.

You do not understand. You are just saying the exact same thing over and over in different ways. I GET IT, OKAY!

I am not just bothered by this guy just saying snide remarks. The situation is MORE COMPLICATED than that.

I DO NOT need any MORE advice YOU, MATTMX.

have you considered that you might just be projecting the diagnosis onto him, and that he might just be an asshole? He might not have been intentionally manipulating you or your colleagues.

He's told me in a conversation we've had that he has been diagnosed with it. I have considered a the possibility he is lying, but the shoe fits as they say. Its has made a lot of his behavior make sense. He definitely acts like he has narracist as well. He's completely full of himself. He's a complete pain to work with.

Mkay, fair enough. I suppose I'd say that the best idea might just be to do what Matt said .