Can a sociapath ever be helped???

My husbands therapist has told me based on what I have told her and what my husband has told her she believes he is a sociopath. I am in shock but once I read the criteria it seems to be an exact fit. So my question is what now? can this condition be treated? I feel like his therapist was telling me that I need to get away from him and even file for a restraining order. I am not going to file because he is respecting my wishes to be left alone at the moment. I love my husband, I have no desire to destroy his life with restraining orders and police. I am studying psychology and will graduate in less than 3 months with my degree so everything that I have learned and my heart says that punishing him for having a condition is wrong. I wouldn't stop loving him if he had heart disease or cancer so is mental illness a deal breaker or a condition to be worked through and treated like any other? I am confused and my thoughts of all of our good times and the promise I made to stick by his side for better or worse. He has been abusive to me mentally and has used manipulation to gain control. I can see how that makes those vows null and void......I pray for his recovery and for his mental stability.....even if we are never to be together again. He was my friend since I was 13 years old. I am heart broken in a way that I have never experienced.

Plumprincess, I feel for you after you have received such terrible news! You as an "almost"'professional probably know a lot better that cure starts with the earnest, sustainable commitment to treatment on the part of the patient. I also believe you are somewhat "romanticizing" the illness - forgive me for the maybe inappropriate word - as it is not only unhealthy but also highly ineffective for you and for him if you stick with him "through better or worse" unless you are in a safe environment around him. If he had heart disease or cancer or another form of physical illness he wouldn't abuse you. And if he had a contagious physical disease the doctors wouldn't let you near him in order for you not to get infected. If you do, you go down with him and no one is helped. I believe you need to get some distance and make sure you are well and strong and healthy and take care of yourself. Anytime he jeopardizes that it only means you both get drawn into the vortex. I am sending you hugs and best wishes to get through this challenge!

I am far from a psychologist or psychiatrist, I am a student who is passionate about helping those who suffer from mental illness and the people who love them. I have had two life experiences that shaped my life. The first was my alcoholic father whom I loved with all of my heart. He was a good man with demons he could never shake....he was mean at times and could be violent with my mother. I knew that my father was horrifically abused by his mother and a very disturbed man. I was young and could not offer my father the support and guidance he needed to beat his addiction. I talk to him in my mind sometimes and tell him that I forgive him and I understand that his pain must have been great. I cry for the grandchildren he never met or the woman that I have become he will never meet.... that he would be proud of....he passed away on our living room couch when I was just turning twelve. Second experience is my 10 year old daughter who was diagnosed at age 4 with autism and an emotional disorder as well. I have been through hell and back trying to help my daughter. I have been psychically attacked, called every fowl name and scared for her own safety because of her self injury behaviors. My love for her is unconditional and I would go to any distance to help improve her life. I read as much as I could about her condition and let my life adjust to suit her needs. I learned so much about love and what it means at the very core. I accept my daughter for who she is and I am dedicated to her and her well-being. She is doing amazing! everyday that I see her doing well in school and making friends as well as communicating with me in a calm manner I know that the persistence has paid off. My husband is very troubled, I have seen his true heart and felt immense love from him. I have also seen a man who could not handle his emotions, who needed my attention at every moment and when he felt he wasn't getting it would do anything to attract it no matter if it was negative or not. If I must let go of him then I will face it......it will not be easy. I just need to know in my heart that I am doing the right thing, I continue to speak with him daily and give him support, I care about him and his life. I want him to get the treatment he needs to be a happier person and have offered him direction as to how to go about finding mental health treatment. he is going to see a different therapist who will hopefully counsel him in a way that addresses his negative and abusive behavior while also giving him hope for a better future. Without hope what are we left with?

You are left with a man with a condition that has no cure.

You already have suffered and know what it is like to live with MI - I feel for you! What I believe you are left with is with no one who takes care of you. Have you ever asked yourself why you are so dedicated to others who have an issue? Will you get the same help from other adults in your life if you needed it? Wishing that someone loves you back the way you are capable of lovingn

comethisfar......I have thought of it and all I have ever come up with is a need inside of me to nurture and mother everyone. I had such a dysfunctional life and family growing up that I couldn't wait to have a family of my own. I knew what I would do different. I would never allow my children to know the misery that I did. Our life would be filled with good things, pets, dinners, a warm and happy home, Beautiful things, beautiful holidays and I was the one who could make it all happen, I did!!! I was a single parent for a long time. I became a master of creating this ideal life for my children. I worked hard and we always had a home we were proud of, a nice car and a life that was full of all of the great things I wanted for the kids. When you walked in to my house you would never know that I had one pair of shoes and a couple of pants because the kids had everything! Video games, giant stuffed animals, computers, televisions, pets, . I was a success at what I wanted to create, and I am dedicated to my children. I have neglected myself at times pretty bad but it never destroyed me, I am proud of what I have done. I tried to share my life with my husband, my friend.......and I guess my instinct to make his life happy kicked in, only trouble was no matter what I did.....I didn't work. I know I have to say goodbye to him. It is a crying shame......but isn't that how it goes sometimes.

You sound like a catch, but as you know, even the most dedicated caregivers eventually find the limits of their own ability to control someone else's destiny.

Depends what you mean by helped. I have a nasty feeling that sociopaths are quite happy the way they are. You might have to decide if you can handle them or if you cannot.

Ok - so here's the key as I have found when I have researched this question in the past.

The general answer to this question is "no", but the reason for that is in order to be helped a person has to WANT to be helped.

Sociopaths and psychopaths just don't really "care" about anything - not in the way other people know the word to mean - and since wanting to be helped is in effect caring about one self, it's a rare occurance to find a psychopath or sociopath willing to do the work that would be needed to get the help they would require. So - the answer is "no but also yes".

It almost sounds to me as if your husband may be willing to try but I can't be sure if it's not just part of the "honeymoon" stage in the abuse cycle he is displaying.

Only you can know what is right for you when it comes down to it.