My sister breaks men's hearts. I get real tired of hearing about her terrible judgment where it comes to men. She is very beautiful, dresses expensively and well, keeps her body up with exercise and dance, and attracts men like flies to honey. She beomes intimate FRIENDS ONLY with guys who fall in love with her. Then, instead of telling them to find someone else, and go on with their lives (since I've read and believe that if one person is in love and the other isn't it CAN'T work and one of them will get seriously hurt) she might even get drawn into kissing the guy. Then she immediately cools off, and wants to go back to being friends. She says she "doesn't want to hurt him," as she dumps him, and instead of a simple statement that it won't work, she writes long emails trying to express sweetly that she cares about him, their friendship, etc. She and I talk on the phone about once a week, and sometimes go to concerts together (only 3-4 times a year or less.) Last time we went to a concert, she say Him and his Girlfriend -- she made us move to another seat! So now I won't go to concerts with her again. I now will tell her somehow I cannot discuss men with her anymore. Probably I'll just say that if she starts to talk to me about some guy. This attitude of hers has been going on for four years. Oh, I forgot to say that with her last "serious" relationship where she sometimes was in love with this guy, agreed to marry him, then said she wasn't ready to get married, then found him boring and stressing her out, and told him she was pulling back, then getting close again -- several times of this -- he finally broke up with HER and found another girlfriend soon after. Twice or more, she has said she is totally over him; it's OVER, she says. But it never is. She has been absolutely devastated for 4 years now about him. She has occasionally told me she realizes about herself having put him off, but then she still can't cut loose. She is really stressing me out. She also blames me for stuff -- little stuff, but stuff she brings on in our phone conversations. I no longer dare to ask about her life or events -- she will go way overtime on our phone conversations (which SHE wants to time with a timer, giving equal time to each of us) Then, when I say I gotta go now, she says "Well, you ASKED." about something. I honestly don't know how to handle this. Oh, and by the way -- she is stressed out about 90% of the time. When she's not stressed out, she is loving, patient, and understanding. None of the above behavior. I have told her I can tell as soon as she starts speaking on the phone if she is stressed out or not. She accepted that. She said she wanted to know that. But she has also told me she likes her stressed lifestyle.

[marmaduke]

She's selfish and does not worry about the hurt she causes others.
It's all a game to her.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

Does she have a MI like bipolar or depression?

Dear marmaduke and ValentinaVVV, I just found your responses. Thank you very much. I don't know how to subscribe to a thread. Anyway, here's the update about my sister. I agree with you, marmaduke that she's selfish and does not care about how she affects others. Valentina, I do not know if she has a MI. I know she has no dx, but she has taken antidepressants from time to time. I wrote, " I honestly don't know how to handle this." Well, I figured out how to handle it, and did. The disagreements and blaming/denying had taken place on the phone for decades. She'd say something and then say she didn't say it. She say I said something that I didn't say, but since this was on the phone it was impossible to verify/prove what we said. Then for a month or two, our email correspondence started to increase instead of phone calling. Ha! Gotcha! I now had proof, in writing, what had been going on over the phone. Around that same time, she did something to a male friend of hers that was absolutely inexcusable. That did it for me!!! I dropped her. I told her I didn't want to communicate with her ever again. A couple of months later, she emailed me happy birthday, and I wrote back saying, okay thanks, but "it still won't work." About 6 weeks later she wrote something regarding a cousin of ours. He asked her if I wanted a DVD of the funeral of his wife!!!!!! So, here she is, playing Go Between between my cousin and me. She and I discussed -- and followed -- zillions of years ago not to be go betweens for anyone. So I wrote briefly that I did not want the DVD. She wrote "What if he wants to know why you don't want it? Shall I just tell him it's too painful for you to watch?" I said No, because that is not true. Please tell him something true, like that you and I are no longer on speaking terms." Then my big mistake - the next day, I thought of something that she might want to tell him, if she didn't want to "fess up" about her and me (which I'm sure she is trying to keep secret from other members of the family). That opened the flood gates, and she sent me a long, long email, which I did not read -- not again!!!! So I wrote back, "Don't contact me again, for any reason whatsoever. I won't answer anyway." Period. She's gone. I changed my will. And she is no longer listed as my emergency contact or personal representative of any sort. Since she has been alienating her two sons from me since they were teenagers (now in their 40s), and since she never includes me in her visits and various fun things she and my grand niece (her granddaughter) do, I think I'm out of their lives, too. I would like to stay in touch with my grand niece, but unfortunately the only reliable mailing address the teen has is at my sisters. She "lives" at various places, including her monther's, her dad's (my nephew), and each of her grandmother's. The parents are irresponsible and would not give her the card I'd send. So I'm at a loss how to communicate with my niece. She has lost a Lot of people she loved, mostly the various boyfriends of my sister who come and go, plus ditto her mother's boyfriends who come and go. Once, the dad and mother moved in together and got engaged. Well, that didn't last. One time when my sister broke up with a long term b/f she lived with, my niece said, "I thought I'd never see him again." My sister said that Niece/Granddaughter would see him again. But I don't know if she ever has.