[miztexrgv]

My MIL is in an Alzheimer's facility because she could no longer care for herself and her behavior was beyond weird and distructive. My husband's Aunt is trying to have his power of attorney challenged in court. She has called the police several times and butted in in other ways.
We are trying to get MIL in to see a Psychiatrist, but it takes a month for an appointment. In the meantime the following behavior has been observed: Throwing things, hitting nurse with walker, making hundreds of abusive phone calls repeatedly(every five minutes) to everyone in her phone book; family and friends. Lying, manipulative behavior, hording pills, confusion, not eating, isolating in her room, wild mood swings, personal cleanliness failing, etc. None of the family will speak with her anymore because she has treated everyone in her life like a mirror for her personal "show"and her meaness and delight in hurting people is legendary. She was hospitalized years ago for six months for a suicide attempt, but it was a theatrical one the doctor said. We believe that she is a malignant Narcissist, but she may also be suffering dementia or other problems. as well.
My husband is exhausted from phone calls everyday about things that she or the rest of of the nuts in this family are doing to make our lives miserable. We are at the end of our rope. We are both on Xanax
and trying to cope. Legal questions like "Can they revoke power of attorney?" Can they take us to court? Is she crazy or Alzheimer's or both? Can a Psychiatrist REALLY help us by observing her for an hour when other people at the facility took WEEKS before they saw her true colors? All we are trying to do is keep an old sick woman off the streets. Why is everyone fighting us?! HELP! PLEASE RESPOND!

[VoNPD]

((((((((((mizt)))))))))))

I'm so sorry for you and your husband. Hard enough having an N. for a MIL, but adding the Alzhimers... what a difficult time. My heart goes out to all of you.

I can't offer much help, but on the POA issue: I am my mother's POA. The only way your husbands' POA can be revoked is if he chooses to give it up, or if he is proved incompetent or untrustworthy with MIL's funds. Yes, he could be taken to court, but it would be extremely difficult for someone to PROVE him inept. As long as he's willing and making sound decisions on her behalf, he remains in charge.

wishing you strength, patience and wisdom in this trying time,
VoN

[bebop]

if she is in an alzhiemers facility already then you know this is all signs/symptoms of that. alzhiemers is progressive. if she has a phone in her room there take it out. the nurses are the ones that should be monitoring whether she is taking her meds. make them be the responsible ones here. as far as the aunt goes I wouldn't worry so much about her. I know it is stressful for you and your hubby but this facility is the one being paid to take care of her hon. hold them accountable but again if she does have a phone take it out.

[miztexrgv]

VoN,

Thanks for your reply. This week I had a breakdown because of it all.
Today we saw a lawyer who said that the power of Attorney could be revolked by another family member easily if there were no medical proof that she is incompetent. She has not yet seen an MD except for back and heart trouble. But the facility where she is sent two people to do a mini mental evaluation that they do for elderly people to look for sign of dementia. They saw the signs, so we put her in the facility. The lawyer says if her rights have been violated, then the facility is libel; not us. O.K., but what about her? She can get out if she wants to, unless we are made her legal guardians. The Lawyer is working on that now. But as usual, everything takes time. The stress is killing me!