My mother has Histrionic Personality Disorder

My mother was diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder when I was 15. I am now almost 49. There is not an interaction that I have with my mother, in all my years, that I feel is normal. A lot of times I have to talk to my husband to check out if my mother was being "normal" or not, or usually I end up licking my wounds because she always manages to kick me in the teeth. My mother had 14 brothers and sisters who have or had the same personality problems she did, who are in the process of dying and their children (my cousins) don't go to their funerals. All of them have married screwed up spouses. My mother has become very verbally abusive to me because, as she told my cousin, "I can't control her." I think my mother has some borderline and narcissitic personality problems too. Since I told my mother 8 years ago that I wasn't going to bring my 4 year old daughter around my father to be verbally abused, my mother has had nothing but rath for me. She didn't even have the decency to call me when my dad died--my sister did. I went to his memorial service even though she didn't want me to. His memorial service was just family, mostly his daughters, and my mother played music and displayed objects and colors she claimed my dad liked. It was pathetically obvious that his memorial was all about her. She was the center of attention. My dad was verbally abusive, but there were good things about him too. I had a hell of a childhood. And to make matters worse, my little sister is possibly histrionic/narcissitic too. When my mother and my little sister are together, they feed off each other. My older sister and I bring our husbands and children to help protect us. Our husbands and children are afraid of and can't stand my mother and my little sister. What's really dysfunctional to me is that people in general just want to ignore what's going on with my mom and sister, with the exception of the brave few who speak to me about how crazy they think my mom and sister are. Sometimes I feel like no one notices except me, and then that makes me feel crazy. I have been in therapy to try to undo some of the damage my parents and sister have done to me, especially since I was the object of their wrath--especially if I didn't agree with them or do things their way. What really gets me freaked is when I have a boss with a personality disorder--which is just as frustrating and infuriating as dealing with my mom and sister. Some of my friends tell me to limit my contact, and I have. But when my dad died 1 1/2 years ago, my mother has been acting irrational at times and my older sister is concerned about the money and real property he left and what my mom is doing with it. She had a 75 thousand dollar checking account with my little sister's name on it--who is just as nutty as my mom, not to mention her husband is a drug dealer/grower. Sometimes I feel like I live in an insane world.

Babs,

Welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry that your mother was like that. You seem to be overcoming a lot of the things that you grew up with, and finding a healthier way to live and raise your family. That is a significant accomplishment!

Rap

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) i hope things get better for ya.