afraid...

Afraid of getting better. I've been doing fairly well for a few weeks now and it is frightening me! It's like I don't know how to act. I'm afraid that others might expect too much from me. I'm afraid of falling again, it happens so often, just when I start to feel better, then it hits me, and harder each time. I wish I could figure out who I am, independent of the labels. I wish I could just be myself and feel ok with that. I'm afraid that won't happen, and if it does, it won't stay. I'm afraid of living life. I don't know how and I don't know how to learn and I don't know how to not mess it up.
Sorry, just thinking, probably too much! Anyway, just me and my thoughts.

It's harder to change for the better than for the worst...You can only learn by messing up because mistakes are the best teachers. Fall 6 times, get up 7.

Complicat8d....
Just because you get better doesn't mean you have to stop growing and learning about you.
You already know the two of us are a lot a like.
If I have several good days my brain malfunctions and I sabotage things just to continue the belief that I am a worthless person. It is a cycle I am trying to break.
I am thinking of you.
((( YOU )))

Hi Complicated,
Life has a way of whomping you on the backside of your head just as you're feeling good and going about your merry little way. It makes you afraid to go merrily on your way again and you keep looking back waiting for the whomp to come because this time you don't want it to catch you off guard.
At least that's how I translated what you've written.
In any case, I think I know what you mean. I think it's what they mean by taking baby steps. Take one step forward, look around for the whomp-if the coast is clear then take another step forward.
I wish you well and hope for the best to come for you.

((((King)))) ((((Twisted Soul)))) ((((Jax))))
Thanks for the replies. I know that I can always come here for understanding support.
I'm still hanging in here. Hope you are all doing ok.