Avoidant and Mutism

I was wondering. I really identify with avoidant personality disorder and i also had selective mutism as a child (i barely talked for about a year in certain situations). I was wonderinf if it was linked in some way.

Maybe it is link. It would surely make sense to me if it did. One can go with the other.

((((((((Esthersvirtue))))))))

Interesting question... I also think it might be linked, esp if it is selective mutism. Would make sense.

I'd think so; looks like they have a shyness connection:

http://www.depression-treatment-help...-selective.htm

http://www.depression-treatment-help...ersonality.htm

hmmmmm.... that is something to think about.

There was a period of about 3-4 years in my childhood where I rarely talked(people would ask my mom if I EVER said anything) and I struggle with Avoidant Personality issues. I've told my T. that sometimes it feels as if my social skills didn't get developed as well as most people.

I worry so much about not say the right thing to someone, that I end up usually not saying anything at all and then I feel bad, as I figure they must think I don't care when in reality I do care very much-- just too fearful to speak up.

And if I do say something and it's the wrong thing... then I spiral into deep withdraw and isolation, as the very thing I feared has happened.

Wish there was more research on personality disorders-- would be nice to better understand it all.

EV-

mandy

I wonder if I have selective mutism because I do not think i am shy I can easy have a conversation with my friends or fellow classmates ,but when it comes to someone I admire or a teacher I feel very uncomfortable. Just being in their presents or seeing them in the hall makes me panic. It interferes with my daily life because I can never ask them for help or raise my hand in class. A few days ago I was getting ready for mid-term exams. I was asking people around me for help on a chemistry problem this girl yelled out go ask (teacher's name) signifying her own frustration with the problem. we were but two yards from him so she did not have to be that lowed to get his attention. I was petrified, I saw the teachers face of surprise not at the girl but me thinking "maybe she will ask for my help" because he know, from observation of past days, that I would rather ask 10 people before him. I was able to look back at my paper pretending to work on it as he went back to what he was doing on the computer. Also, at our school we have a marching band class I love it: it is my favorite class. This year I wanted to apply to be a "DI" (help people with marching, music, assistant to the section leader). I am afraid she will not select me thinking I am too shy but I think I would be go at it and enjoy it, I am not shy I cannot be. As for the people I admire I do not believe I can ever have a boy friend or be friends with the people I really value. It leaves a emptiness I become angry with myself for my inability to control these anxiety like feelings. Most resantly I handed in a homework assignment a day late and never got it back. For a week I so wanted to ask him for it because I would need it later to study. I still do not have it and now it is to late it is probaly lost or throw away. This problem started in 6th grade and is only increasing, I cannot understand why. I do not know how I am going to solve this problem and I believe it will hamper my adult professional life.

Momo7, maybe you have some social anxiety. There is probably some fear that keeps you from talking to the people you admire or want to think well of you. But you can be comfortable talking to certain people, right? Like the ones that you are comfortable around, and on equal footing with? That's a good sign that you will be able to overcome this problem. You could just use some help bringing down the anxiety level when talking to teachers and people you find intimidating for whatever reason. Do you know what you are afraid might happen if you talked to them? Rejection? Disapproval? You probably have felt rejected by a teacher or a parent or some other adult that you really wanted to like you? This would be very treatable, from what it sounds like to me. Would you be able to ask your parents to let you see a counselor so that you can work on this now, before it gets more set in and starts to affect you professionally, or to limit your options in life?

I'm avoidant also, and this is one of the few remaining aspects of it to remind me that I have not yet fully slain the AvPD beast.

I'm not sure what else can be done at my age, since I've been told numerous times that I missed the starting gun as far as developing such skills is concerned.

As for research, Kantor I think remains the definitive work on AvPD, but as is usually the case with psychiatry, it is long on understanding the problem and short on resolving it.