[Whitmere]

I have been told by several close friends that they think I could have BPD. I have never gone to a psychotherapist before and am a little nervous. Just recently I have found myself obsessed with cleaning and am scared that I could also have OCD. Maybe I'm not as obsessed with cleaning so much as organizing and making things neat and orderly. I cannot sleep at night unless everything is in it's place. If my husband cooks while I am not at home I get really upset b/c I won't be there to clean up "properly" after he cleans up. If the bed is made up "wrong" I get really agitated and have to redo it. I also know in my mind that something HAS to be wrong with me. That I have some undiscovered illness that no one has been able to detect yet. I keep thinking that every time I go to the doctor, they might find something wrong with me, finally. I just find things to obsess over and some of them are taking control of my life. I know I am not normal, but try to put up a front like I am. Does ANYONE know how I feel? I am only 23 and feel like inside I am a big jumbled mess sometimes, while other times I am riding high and living life to the fullest.
I took the two quizzes, and while I understand they do not take the place of a confirmed diagnosis by a professional, it is scary how close to me they are. I am embarrased to tell my family b/c I think my parents would accuse me of just trying to get attention. (which is NOT what I am doing).
Where should I go from here?? Thanks so much for your patience..I know this was long!

[Pughead]

I think you should make an appointment with a psychologist (a therapist). Tell him/her what your concerns are and go from there.

Don't worry...you are definitely NOT alone.

If you are concerned about telling your parents...then don't tell them. Meet with your therapist first and figure out a game plan.

[jacq10]

[biplol]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Whitmere}}}}}}}}}}}} your post was so close to my life, OMG, I couldn't believe my eyes.
You are not alone hon, PM me anytime, I might not be strong soemtimes, but I can sure turn into an ear shape if you need it~

[Whitmere]

Thank you so much for all of your replies. I needed the understanding more than anything. My husband and I sat down and looked at the bipolar and the OCD quiz. He thinks, well, he KNOWS that I am bipolar. (Where did he get his medical degree??) I am going to find a doctor that can help me. I think the reason that I am probably exhibiting some OCD symptoms is that for some time now, if I was actually ever honest to myself, I have known that I have a depression issue and I consider mania a relief from it. . even though it gets in the way of daily life. I just need help. I can't live like this and I know my family hurts b/c of it. Again thanks for your replies and any more are ALWAYS welcome. Can't wait to keep posting.