[terrieL]

I have a husband I am divorcing that has traits close to a sociopath. If you know what these traits are. He also abuses drugs and alcohol so in a big way he has an addictive personality.

This man has done so much to me emotionally and I have been through the worst hell with him which is why i wanted out of the marriage. Though because of the " good side" of him I still love him and in love with him, go figure.
The socio path trait says that the socio path doesn't really love but I really feel that he does love me he tells me all the time and says it very sincerly always hugs and kisses me very affectionately, of which I miss.

Well, the divorce date is coming up soon. He called and told my brother that he plans to be at court and wants to stop the divorce and that he loves me more than anything and will do anything to stop the divorce. He said he will stand up and tell the judge "NO" and that he still loves me and stop the divorce. hehe

Oh also my brother said he is going to bring me a dozen roses at court too.

The little @@#*** why does he wait until divorce day to try and stop it? He has substance abuse issues he has to deal with. I guess he has slowed way down on drinking and hasnt done drug in a long while but I know he can easily go back there without AA or NA. He is one to think he can do this on his own. yeah right!

I am afraid he will cause a big scene at court and I don't know what to do to handle this. my state is a no fault divorce state and that no matter what I should get my divorce granted. But How should I be or respond to my STBX?

[debbie_tabor]

Are you having second thoughts about the divorce? You sound healthily cynical about his ability to deal with his substance abuse issues so maybe not.
If you are hang onto your sentence:
"This man has done so much to me emotionally and I have been through the worst hell with him which is why i wanted out of the marriage."
You deserve much better than that.

Are you worried about the scene he is going to cause?
Before the court date, can you tell your brother to tell him (or tell him yourself) the divorce is going through whatever. That may discourage him.

[RiverX]

Hi Terriel,
Sounds a difficult situation emotionally, I do have a suggestion. Check out Patricia Evans' books, they are so so, helpful in managing abusive relationships, including the seduction which goes with them.

best of luck,

riverx

[Direction]

Agree with all that has been said...the judge will keep him in line...only thing I would want to know before going is what your state says are grounds for divorce...my state is no fault...so even if my former spouse wanted to stop it she couldn't...

Google away...state laws on divorce can be a bit tricky to get to with all the different what I call "sale" sites...

If you need help PM me your state...I've done it a bit now for others...I'm actually getting good at finding that boring language...

[songweaver611]

My ex-husband was an alcoholic. He used to say all kinds of things to get me to stay with him. He used everything from "I can't live without you...I love you" to "You'll never see the kids again if you leave me". In the end, it was all about control. He wanted to maintain control over me and my life. He would go through large, dramatic demonstrations and, even if his behavior changed, it was only temporary. Within a month or so, it was right back to the same old same old.
I hope that all goes well for you. Do not second guess yourself.