[confusedgurl08]

I grew up with a borderline mother. She won't admit it of course. Psychiatrist said I have learned my behavior from my mother, and I understand that, but I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE HER, I am trying really hard not to say the things to my husband (the things that come naturally to me) like "Do you love me, Are you going to leave me, I know you are going to leave me, why didn't you say i looked beautiful today...ect..) I did great today (I started Klonopin and a low dose of Lamictal Tuesday) but the things still come to my mind I am just not saying them. I know i have to give the meds time, but Is there any hope that these thoughts will EVER go away, or do I just have to find ways to keep them from coming out. I don't want to lose my husband. My psychiatrist told me to go get a workbook on DBT therapy, because we have no therapists in this area that specialize in DBT therapy. Do you think working really hard on this workbook, without seeing a therapist can help me???? I wouldn't know what other kind of therapist to seek if this book didn't work. Any advice would be good, or even just replies, thank you.

[okiedokie]

Hi confused,
Yes, there are lots of great books out there on DBT. There are workbooks as well that I think would be really beneficial to you. There are DBT websites as well.

Yes, you can be a recovered borderline. I would be happy to assist you in DBT skills practice. The skills really work. Some of it sounds really stupid to start with, but if you really give it a sound try, it can help you out.

Please feel free to PM anytime if you want specific titles, authors, etc.

Welcome to PC!!
Hugs,
Okie

[confusedgurl08]

Thank you so much okiedokie. I will PM you sometime. going to bed now.

[ECHOES]

Yes. Find a therapist who offers psychodynamic psychotherapy to help you. Borderline is about perceptions formed very early in our lives. Medications can help with symptoms, but not with perceptions. Psychodynamic psychotherapy will help with that. It is very supportive and educational.

You might be interested in reading "get me out of here" by Rachael Reiland, a book about her successful treatment for Borderline. It's a really interesting book.

[Lenny]

Of course they can. Echoes book suggestion is a good one and one example of many, who with surrender, willingness, a tremendous amount of hard, grueling work and a committed and highly competent professional are able to begin and continue therapy.

But I will be honest along with hopefull here. It is not an easy task and statistics prove this. Recovery from this deep and profound disorder is difficult. The willingness of the sufferer is just one of the many challenging aspects to recovery. Resources, from a competent professional who is just as committed, to a supportive and educated family/friend system are critical in long term recovery.

But I have personally witnessed recovery from BPD and though it is presently one of our lives distinct challenges,,,it can be done.

Lenny

I know they can as I have ! I used to be a 'not very nice person' I was aggresive nearly all the time, short of most things to be honest and boy was I impatiant ! I truly could argue with a brick wall.

My elder two children suffered because of it ( I live with the guilt of that ) but I met a new man and he has taught me to relax, to take time out if I was angry to just walk away and 'leave it' ......

Over the course of 6 years I am totaly different I am on meds as well which helps but is not the be all and end all to the way I behave. It has taken me a long time but I am now in controll and my younger children are so different to my elder two ! They are happy well adjusted kids who are doing well at school and have lots of friends, I am not so manic on the house work (I dont walk around with a bleach bottle any more lol) ........

Hey I even get along with my mum which is amazing ! My hubby and I rarely argue and if we do it never last long. Unlike before when it could go on for days !

So its self control and learning to take time out rather than jump in with both feet. To count to ten before saying somthing to the children if they have done somthing wrong. To MAKE yourself calm down and this can be done its all about control, and in the end it becomes second nature and is so easy to do......

Good luck in any way you choose to change I know you can do it.