moods

I have 2 moods. When mfiance and I are alone I am the most happy, loving person, but when his 2 teenage kids are here I become very moody and depressed and almost a viscous, bad person. How can I contrl these mood changes and feelings?

Hi lifesaB

Welcome to PC. Sorry to hear you're having such a time with your moods. Do your moods only change when your boyfriends kids come over? If so, how is your relationship with them? Has your boyfriend noticed the mood changes also?

Sorry, I have more questions than answers. Just thought it might help a bit for the rest of us to have a little more info.

Looking forward to hearing back from you soon, PM me anytime you like.

Take care,
Dee

Yes, he notices my mood changes and really, he causes them by the way he babies these kids and makes me feel like they are so much more important than me. It's little stupid things that stress me out so much. Maybe I should see a counselor. Like this morning - he has to pour his son a glass of juice and leave it sitting on the counter for him before work and make his lunch. This kid will be 17 in a couple of months. He never pours me a cup of coffee or anything. Then Saturday his 14 year old daughter got breakfast pizza from the deli and I never got any breakfast or asked if I would have liked some too. I have tried to talk to him, but he doesn't understand and I guess I don't either at times. I get so angry and then I take it out on the kids and dislike them because of it. My boyfriend and I are going to be married soon and I sure would like to get this under control and not have to feel stressed all the time. Actually, his son lives with us tempoarily and I am really not happy with that either but I love my b/f more than anything in this world.

P.S. It is because of the way my b'f's kids take advantage of him and use him that makes me not get along with them. Then when he babies them, it pushes me even farther away from them. He actually got mad at me one night because he told me to make his kid a plate and I wouldn't. He is old enough to do that on his own and I will NOT ever make him a plate. I can't be pushed into doing things such as that, it only makes things worse.

If he chooses to spoil them thats his choice what is wrong as I see it is when he tries to make you do the same which is wrong.

Hi LifesAB,

I cannot relate completely to your situation but I can relate along some line....

I have a boyfriend whom I am completely fine and happy around when it is just the two of us-no one else around. He lives with his best friend and the second he comes around, I feel myself get moody and angry. In my case, I feel like my BF can behave and act somewhat different when this friend is around. So, I think this triggers my bad mood.

It is frusterating because his friend has never been anything but friendly to me, but yet, I cannot control my feelings.

I wish there was an easy fix I could give you and myself, but unfortunately I still haven't found one. But, know that you are not alone when it comes to the mood switches in situations like that.

I actually had started an online diary where I would write down all the things my b/f does in regards to his kids that bothers me. I thought it might help me to get it out of my system by writing it, but it hasn't seemed to help much. Why can't I just tell myself that I know these things are going to happen, so don't let them bother me? I can't change him or his actions and I realize his kids have always been with him, where I haven't. All I do is make myself miserable over it. I am getting married to him and then they will be my stepchildren so I better get things right real fast. Does anyone know of any good websites that give support for problems regarding stepfamilies? I would appreciate any help I can get. Thanks for the responses too, it helps to talk and hear other peoples situations also.