[Svenskagirl]

My husband has been diganosed with ADD, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and possibly antisocal personality disorder. On Dec,26 he came home manic wanting a divorce and I begged , and pleaded for him to stay. Not because he has been a good husband but because I fear for our childrens safety when they are in his care. I have good reason to fear, though i will not get into that now, but in Ca. he would get the children every other weekend. Our son is 9 and our adopted daughter is 22 months. I want him to get the help he needs, and I need help coping with this. He also drinks, though he wont admit to this problem. Where can we both get help?

What an awful situation you are in! It certainly sounds like he needs a lot of long term help. And it sure sounds like you will need a lot of help and support to get through this safely.

I wonder how, if he is abusive and you stay married, how can you protect the children (and yourself) 24/7? You should not be forced to stay married to a man out of fear.

I know nothing about the laws in CA, but it sure doesn't make any sense that if he is abusive, he would have access to the children if you divorce.

I suggest trying to do what you can to put your safety and the health of your children first and contact a women's shelter or other service. They can put you in contact with a lawyer who specializes in cases like this.

Yes, he DOES need help. But, I'm thinking it's best to make sure the children are safe while he gets the help he needs. If he is bipolar, there are medications which can help. If they aren't working, they can me changed or adjusted. If money is an issue, he can contact his County Mental Health Department for assistance. You can also call there to find your own therapist. You have a LOT to talk about!!

Let us know how you are doing, and what you decide to do. And if it takes you months to decide....keep on posting! We still want to hear from you.

emmy