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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: in a cold, dark, and dismal abyss in pennsylvania
Posts: 200
15 |
#1
i was dx with bpd when i was 16 and was treated extensively for 10 years. after 15 years of no treatment i started again. saw a dr for 15 min and said you cant be bpd. how can he make a judgement like that. i had the best treatment available at the expense of my parents. i have no insurance and have to attend this clinic. how do i get the right treatment?
right now in in such a deep pit. why should i even try? nobody will miss me and it wont get any better anyway. |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2007
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 380
16 51 hugs
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#2
Diagnoses are voodoo. It's a best guess, a direction. Nothing written in stone.
You mention going back to treatment again. May I ask what's sent you back? Personality disorders are kind of like normal human impulses and desires except blown sky high. People can have PD traits, yet not really "qualify" for a full blown PD. If your previous treatment benefited you, then it's possible you aren't displaying very strong BPD traits anymore. From your post, it sounds like some depression in the forefront, and that can cloud almost anything. My doctors don't really work from my diagnosis. We treat my symptoms to bring them under control and we explore my thought, belief and behavior patterns to identify and adjust the unhealthy ones. I haven't had any particular "BPD-specific" therapy. We treat it more as a system-wide thing. Perhaps you can work that idea with your doctor? Is there a "right" treatment? I think anything that can help is the right one for now! __________________ They don't ever lock ya up for thinking crazy - they only get ya for actin' crazy! And just 'cause I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't really out to get me... |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: in a cold, dark, and dismal abyss in pennsylvania
Posts: 200
15 |
#3
i was in the hospital for 1 year on a unit specifically designed for people with bpd. it was very intensive. its not that the traits disappeared but rather i could self monitor and keep them in check. it seems all those checks are gone now. and yes i meet and exceed critirea. and yes the depression is at its worst.i need that kind of therapy again but dont know how to get it.
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
20 132 hugs
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#4
Chrise, tell him how hard you work to keep those symptoms in check, and how you are feeling now.
I've always identified with BPD (since I have understood it, anyway), and I meet the criteria, and I would know about that. But nobody wants to call me borderline because I don't seem that out of control. I do a lot of splitting, and have a lot of the dissociative symptoms, and can be extremely self-destructive and feel like I don't/shouldn't exist. But I turn my rage inward and hold it there, or take it out on myself, sometimes in subtle ways, and sometimes I hide it. Kendyll is right though about dx. It doesn't matter nearly so much as that the treatment you get addresses your needs. A lot of therapists avoid the BPD label because it has so many negative connotations. Especially with patients who don't seem unpleasant to work with. They are trying to do us a favor or pay us a compliment. But sometimes it does feel invalidating that they don't recognize what we are really dealing with, doesn't it? __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
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