[cafonez]

It all started with memory loss and cognitive dysfunction, was referred to a neurologist and then a psychotherapist. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and dysthymic disorder. Lately I have been having a hard time functioning at work. I get so stressed out my thoughts race, I picture everyone talking bad about me and I am always on the defensive. I am so ready to act on impulse because of my stress levels and I have been working hard at holding back.

It is getting to the point where it is very difficult for me to do so. So I asked my work for accommodations and willing to show the diagnosis and the doctors recommendations. My employer argued that they want a specific note from the doctor with the diagnosed disability, what the accommodations are and how they would benefit me. So I went back to the psychotherapist and have been waiting for about 4 weeks for a letter.

Nothing. So work is not going to approve any accommodations for me. My BPD is getting out of control and I have an appointment scheduled with a psychologist and coming up with a psychiatrist also. I have already suffered one panic attack at work and was transferred by ambulance and the psychotherapist who diagnosed me told me my BPD will never go away and it has been with me since childhood because of trauma and I have no realization of any grey areas. It's either white or black to me and no compromise and that I need to continue intensive psychotherapy and seek a psychiatrist for medical treatment.

As a teenager growing up I was always very defensive and anytime someone said something to me, it usually ended up in a fight or a car chase. I've been in everything from being hit with baseball bats, mallots, car chases, being knocked unconscious, and once I reach the stages of adrenaline and anger I lose sense of who I am and able to block out all pain. In the past I had taken drastic risks intentionally putting my life on the line based on impulsive behavior and I've worked hard to fight the urges and they are slowly coming back. The one extra break at work would definitely help me out because I could use that time to listen to softer music to help reduce my intense moods, emotions etc.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get the requested accomodations because of my BPD? Anyone else been through it?

[Michah]

Hey there,

You have alot going on.......it is always especially bad at dx time because thats when it feels at its worst.......as for your job, I cannot say. I was on disability for years after my dx. I think you need to consult a union member, Human Resources, work/staff counsellor or at best, a lawyer.

You are in the "chaos" moment........which like everything, will pass. You are on the right path with your healers to get better, but it can be a long painful process especially with BPD. But the rewards for all your hard work, will pay off. I have had BPD for 15 years and done some horrendous things but my battle has resulted in a good victory. I still fight it every now and then, but I am more familiar with it.......I treat it like a petulant but endearing friend now.

I am more than happy to discuss this with you further......to try and give you some support.......keep talking

[Rapunzel]

I can relate. With some of the same issues and diagnoses, I had problems at work last year and wasn't able to get accommodations (even though offered originally) because my T wouldn't sign the paperwork because she wouldn't help me to be helpless. I was eventually forced to resign involuntarily from that job. I was only asking for reduced hours.

What accomodations are you asking for?

[cafonez]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

I can relate. With some of the same issues and diagnoses, I had problems at work last year and wasn't able to get accommodations (even though offered originally) because my T wouldn't sign the paperwork because she wouldn't help me to be helpless. I was eventually forced to resign involuntarily from that job. I was only asking for reduced hours.

What accomodations are you asking for?

Thank you Micah and Rapunzel for the responses. I asked for an extra break to help breakup the work day to reduce stress and if an off the phones position becomes available (vacant) that I would be moved to an off the phones unit. The doctors know how stressful it is for me to work there because I already had one panic attack and was transported by ambulance. I wasn't able to breathe, dizzy, lightheaded, etc.

I know that if I do not get my accommodations I am going to feel like I am being individually targeted because it appears my employer has their "favorites" no matter how much past recognition I received for excellent performance. It appears I would have more luck having my primary care physician write up documentation of my asthma being affected when I feel too stressed and get an accommodation based on that rather than my BPD.

I would never resign from my job and they have already tried to put me on warning for requesting FMLA and I wrote a discrimination letter then was pulled off of warning. This is just another means for them to break my spirit and make me feel like I am worthless. They are well aware I have been speaking with the EEOC and my employer is keeping their responses in the grey area of intrepertation.