I've decided to work real hard on giving up my guilt for what happened to me as a child and put the blame on the person that offended me.

Whether or not she had issues to overcome is not relevant in her actions towards me and others. There comes a time to be accountable and to me that's when we're adults. She physically and emotionally injured small children and should be accountable for that!
IMO- anyone that hurts someone else emotionally or physically should be held accountable for that person's pain. After all, that's one of the things that sets us apart from other animals-- a conscience.

It's been so long that I've felt guilty as she had me convinced I was the wrong one. I was too sensitive, too quiet and too trustworthy--- so it was my fault!! NO, NO , NO-- not anymore-- it's not my fault -- I didn't DO the hurting-- she did. And just because I was hurt by her doesn't make me WRONG!!

And yes, I need correcting now- but only because of what she did- and how she won't apologize to me!!

Never underestimate the power of the words " I'm sorry".

Mandy

[(JD)]

Giving up guilt is always a good thing!

Have you read Alan Dershowitz' book, The Abuse Excuse? It can be enlightening.

Of course I see where you are coming from, and I agree that YOU are not "wrong" for things that happened to you, especially as a child. (For what child can overpower or outthink or overcome the ways of an adult?)

However, I wonder if "blame" should be left for those who deliberately, knowingly, and willingly act untoward? Just a thought.

[Kathyanita]

waiting for the aknowledgment and admission of guilt let alone apology is like asking the ocean to respond to the tsunami victims in some cases with some perps

[silver_queen]

That sounds a very reasonable request and i think you're obliged to receive an apology. I think it's great that you've managed to work out that the blame is not yours but somebody else's.

Hi Sky

I haven't read " The Abuse Excuse"- I'll have to go look for it-- thank you.

I suppose when I say blame- it's mostly due to the unwillingness of acknowledging a person for their hurt and owning it no matter what the reason was for it. Even if it was an accident- which what happened to me wasn't- but even if it was-- an apology would only be proper. If I accidentally stepped on someone's toe or accidentally hurt their feelings-- I would apologize-- not because I did something "wrong"-- but because I care that they were hurt.

Your thoughts and insight are very thought provoking!!

Thanks,
Mandy

Yes Kathyanita, I so agree!!! too bad it's that way sometimes.

Mandy

Thanks for validating me " Silver " -- it means so much!!

It's a long road ahead for me -- being here at PC, reading and learning, will hopefully help me find the way I should have been going years ago!

Thanks again!!
Mandy

[(JD)]

Tks 2b... giving an apology and expecting one, though, imo, come from two different needs. Both can be unhealthy if the reasoning is false.