Roll call

I thought it might be a good idea to have a roll call. Please post here a bit about how you're doing, if you can. And bring anything you like, chocolate.... well you're all creative and will think of plenty of ideas to bring. Maybe we can keep this thread going for a while and offer each other some warmth during the cold months.

I pretty much summed my the way I'm feeling when I wrote this in Kudos.

Autumn skies are settling in over the Canadian countryside. The deep green forests of summer have begun their annual transformation into fiery displays of yellows golds and reds. Soon the pastel leaves of autumn will fall to the forest floors leaving a veil of barren branches to shroud the hillsides. The trees are going to sleep. The insects are gone, the migratory birds are leaving by the day. The forests grow silent, the empty cold of winter lay ahead.
It's a bitter sweet time for me, a time for reminiscence. Haunting memories of times gone by, and friends and family lost to eternity. A dear friendship lost through misunderstanding.
The cool damp air penetrates your being, but the wind from the north is so fresh it stimulates your mind, reality becomes stark. The scenery is gorgeous and sunny skies at midday warm you through to your heart, but the cold empty feelings of loss are a large vessel to fill. There's no planning for the future today, just settle in and wait for the feelings to pass.
Here we are, most of us, dreaming and struggling to find a new a beginning, helping each other along, trying to grow. But this time of year for me is all about endings.

It didn't use to be this way, Autumn used to be inspirational, a time when the air cleared, summer distractions gone, time to get to work, feeling industrious. But it ain't like that no more.

Been playing an old track over and over in my head, helps a bit. A little reminder that better days are ahead.

The Dream
(Moody Blues)

When the white eagle of the north is flying overhead
The browns, reds and golds of autumn lie in the gutter, dead.
Remember then, that summer birds with wings of fire flaying
Come to witness springs new hope, born of leaves decaying.
Just as new life will come from death, love will come at leisure.
Love of love, love of life and giving without measure
Gives in return a wonderous yearn of a promise almost seen.
Live hand-in-hand and together we'll stand on the threshold of a dream.

Hope we're all feeling better soon

........


........yes.....sparrowstail, present and accounted for, ma'am......

..............standing tall......(and still trying to look good...Lol..)

........and what can I bring?...........hmmm.....good energy!

I'm still here too! Have been feeling a little introverted lately..Fall is beautiful but I dread the grey, short winter days...So...I will bring us a big, warm, fire in a stone fireplace and a couple bottles of good wine so we can gather around and have a good talk.

(((((((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))))))

Like Bruce said.....Autumn didn't used to be this way....it used to be the new beginning after the summer break of refreshing experiences. A chance to start another challenge......fresh & ready to go.

Then real life hit.....I don't know why but it seems that every bad thing that happens in my life hits me in the fall/winter. The only good thing I can remember for years was the birth of my foal the end of September 5 years ago......but from that point on.....nothing but bad things have filled my life during the fall.

I hate going there....I hate where my mind takes me when I try hard to keep the pictures away.....even when good pictures are in my life, somehow, the bad tends to overlay them with visions from the past. Trying to shake them away while with others who don't know of that past tends to be awkward......but sure it is mostly only I that knows what is going on in my mind......making sure that the few tears that fall aren't seen by anyone.

Somehow even the feel from the change of season triggers that sense within me.......I kept hoping that a change of scenery, even the change of location 2100 miles away would help.....it has some, but there are still some memories that just won't go away & some new ones that have piled on top of those....only to add to the painful thoughts that come at this time of year.

Sitting around the nice warm fireplace with some warm cider or hot tea.....will also bring the gingersnap cookies with sliced cheese & apples along with my oatmeal-pumpkin-cranberry cookies warm out of the oven to munch on......& several boxes of nice soft tissues to wipe the tears.

So eskielover is joining with the group if that's ok.

(((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))))))

I'm here, spratically, whenever I can find a computer to get on, since my laptop doesn't work right anymore, I miss everyone here so much.

I"m okay, sort of still testing my wings, about to hop back into the therapy process after a very long absence from it. I'm feeling a bit shakey here lately, been having a lot of random flashbacks from the various sources of my PTSD.

I'll bring some pumpkin bread, and hot coco for everyone to share

Sending much love and peace to all
Sparrow

Just checking out the site, someone gave me in a treatment center a few months back. You never think you'll need them again. Bug here it is again... I'm confused and depressed again.

I'm going through a tough patch with exacerbation of my symptoms since I am back in school, and for the first time trying to deal with this in T. It leaves me pretty constantly on edge. But I do see a brighter time when I can be free of all this. But until then I'm still going to be a little jumpy.

I can bring gluten free cookies. I just found some really good chocolate chip ones (the best gluten free cookies I've ever had). And ice cream.

I love the sound of the rain pouring on the roof in a rain storm. It sounds like music.

Sometimes when I'm doing big stuff in therapy, I go silent. It's hard to talk about what's going on inside.

I am trying with T to imagine a different ending to the trauma. I've read that Ts do this with kids all the time to help them feel more in control. He is trying to get me to draw what happened and a different ending. It's hard. I feel stupid. I feel like a kid. I feel like the kid who this happened to.

Keep checking out PC & keep posting.....it is the most wonderful site with the best loving kind people here who are all struggling with things, but the support is amazing....not only that, but everyone looks out for each other also.

Glad you checked it out.....we would love to have you hang around here with us....you will see what wonderful people there are......I always think that if only the real would would have such caring people, the world wouldn't be the way it is. DocJohn, the owner/director/overseer of the site is wonderful too....this site is his creation & he protects this site & us as much as possible from people & things that could be harming to us & the site.

Welcome to PC,
Eskielover/Debbie

P7 is here

im hiding a bit - anniversary is coming up and it makes me soooooo sad so dont want to bring anyone down.....

hpe everyone is well - hugs to all

I'm also, just moving along.... sharing, caring, darning to share.........

And learning a lot from so many posts and threads, advice and comments.

The nice pictures shared with each help makes me smile too.

I like to make people smile

((((((((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Great thread .... bringing positivity along with hot choccy with malows for the longer nights and maybe some choc chip cookies too ... yummy Ophelia xxxx

((((((((((((((((( Ophelia )))))))))))))))))

I am here. I am there. I am here and there and here and .... oh you know the rest! :-) Yes, PTSD is one of my attributes. I decided to stop calling them issues. LOL

((((((((((((((((( wpowers )))))))))))))))))

Hey there's a penality for being tardy

Jus Buzz'n by

Okay i'm confused fuzzy - there are 2 roll call threads? I don't want to miss a roll call - so which one do i chose

((((((((((((((( Starlite ))))))))))))))))
You can post in either, or both