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#1
Nov 08, 2009, 07:22 PM
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I have been triggered badly. I thought my husband had changed after having cancer and promising me things would be different. We were going to part company until I realised how much I loved him seeing him so ill in hospital after having his kidney out. How stupid of me to think he was sincere
 My daughter and I went out to see a bonfire display and stayed out longer than expected. When we came home he was very insulting saying he expected his dinner 3 hours earlier, he managed to cook himself something but moaned we were late coming home even though we told him of our plans. My daughter saw lots of her friends as she worked at this particular bar before going to uni, she really wanted to stay so we did. I'm so disillusioned. The whole family has been through so much stress of late, I never go out ever and I really enjoyed the evening with Dani ... now I feel guilty and sad and he is rubbing it in because he has been on his own for 3 hours. Oh you know what I just give up .... This just reminds me of how easily people manipulate me and bring back guilt I shouldn't have to feel .... K x
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The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son   " As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ― Marianne Williamson |
 opheliasorrow
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#2
Nov 08, 2009, 07:47 PM
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(opheliasorrow) With surgery like he had . your hubby. hes been home 2 days.
Hes prolly still in pain. He prolly did not mean to be insulting. It takes along time to recover from that kind of surgery. Plus as with cancer after sometimes comes depression, I know as my Dad had it , cancer that is and depression. give it some time as it has been stressful i am sure on your whole family. Maybe next time you can get someone to sit with him. That way you can get out. tc of you |
| opheliasorrow
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#3
Nov 08, 2009, 09:02 PM
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(((ophelia)))
Dont feel guilty for taking a little time to yourself. You didnt do anything wrong and you should be able and allowed to feel good about the time you spent w/your daughter. Yes he is not feeling well, so of course you can be sympathetic to his plea, buttttt.....you need to let him know that you have been going full speed for days and this was a chance for you to get out and release some pent up tension....Much Deserved..... He my have his "woe is me" going on but in the end he knows who is buttering his bread. Dont let him get to you and wear you down....your night out was to recharge you for you and him. I am glad you went and had a good time. My PDOC grew up in OK and he told me that there is bonfire nights around this time of year. Wish I could be there warming up to a nice fire .... mmmmmmm sounds like fun....hold on to the memory to help you through the whining, lol! 
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10-2009  A trademark of Sunny:P-productions.....sharing with the world....everybody wants to be in the sunshine! Dont they? __________________ Wish I WERE somewhere sunny.... Sunny :P  
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| opheliasorrow
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#4
Nov 09, 2009, 08:49 AM
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((((((((((((((( ophelia )))))))))))))))))
love and hugs to you my friend 
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| opheliasorrow
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#5
Nov 10, 2009, 12:45 AM
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I know my hubby has been through a lot, he was the one who told us to go enjoy ourselves .... we saw a lot of friends we haven't seen in ages. My son was home with my husband
. It was just the way he spoke to me, nasty and condescending you know? I know he's feeling fragile still and I'm doing my very best. My son was here to cook for him and he can cook for himself anyway .... as he did .... it just threw me when I came home and he pounced on me is all .... both me and Dani were upset. I seriously wasn't going to go, and he told us to .... Thanks for the hugs. Ophelia xx   He isn't depressed Muffy, we've talked. He is uncomfortable because he is still full of gas from the op. I did ask him about feeling depressed and he says he's just sick of feeling bloated which is understandable ... when people jump on me like he did with anger it does make me panic, I'm fine now, it just took me and my daughter by surprise .... We were both in the wrong I guess ... it was too soon to go out and leave him. K xx (((((((muffy)))))
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The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son " As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ― Marianne Williamson Last edited by opheliasorrow; Nov 10, 2009 at 01:51 AM. Reason: to add ... |
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#6
Nov 10, 2009, 11:10 AM
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((((((((((((((opheliasorrow)))))))))))))))))))))
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#7
Nov 11, 2009, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
It could be you are all under stress as cancer effects the whole family .,not just the person with it. Its still fresh in all your minds. praying things get better for him and you
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| opheliasorrow
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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