I continue to see my T once a week. We talk. And talk. I am not getting better. If anything, my c-PTSD is getting worse. At home and increasingly in public, I am affected by my disease with thoughts that make me angry. For some reason, my brain seems to be attacking me. I can't turn it off. I am finding no relief from the anger and inner rage.

Spirituality does not help. I have given up religion. I dislike meditation classes because of the religious aspect. Prayer is a waste of time; so is going to mass.

I do not do well socially. Never have. I don't enjoy the company of others much. All I want are friends even though I am not a lot of fun to be with. I don't understand interpersonal communication and relations at all.

I have exhausted most options. Tried almost all types of therapy. Recently, I was turned down for an in-depth dialectical behavior therapy program. The counselor suggested I try EMDR but I am not too keen on it.

It must be that I am too sick to make any progress. There is nothing for T's to work with - the childhood neglect and abuse I suffered was too damaging. The ostracization and bullying I received as an adult made things even worse. I guess I am a lost cause.

[Werewoman]

Why not try EMDR? It has worked well for me.

My PTSD is of the complex variety. There is no one traumatic event to work on. Complex PTSD is triggered by numerous events in the past including a problem childhood and repeated mistreatment at work.

Also, I no longer believe in anything. I mistrust everything and everyone one. I believe nothing. I trust no one.

[unaluna]

Yo, you dont even trust the hankster??

Originally Posted by hankster

Yo, you dont even trust the hankster??

I trust hankster to be a prankster! LOL.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by unguy

My PTSD is of the complex variety. There is no one traumatic event to work on. Complex PTSD is triggered by numerous events in the past including a problem childhood and repeated mistreatment at work.

Also, I no longer believe in anything. I mistrust everything and everyone one. I believe nothing. I trust no one.

So is mine - both complex and chronic caused by a horrific childhood and mental, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands my mother that went on until I was well into my 30's.

When I do EMDR, I rarely work on a single event. It's usually a particular feeling I'm having. It helps me to understand where the feeling is coming from and why. Truly amazing stuff has come out of these sessions.

I will never be 'well' or even 'normal', but at least when I feel like you do right now, I usually know why and that helps me cope better.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by unguy

I trust hankster to be a prankster! LOL.

THAT explains why you havent accepted my proposals, decent, indecent, or otherwise! Hey, i would never kid about such a thing. I may be, uh, overly enthusiastic and perhaps wide-ranging in my sweet attentions, but i am always sincere

[glok]

Hello, unguy. How can we support you?

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by unguy

I continue to see my T once a week. We talk. And talk. I am not getting better. If anything, my c-PTSD is getting worse. At home and increasingly in public, I am affected by my disease with thoughts that make me angry. For some reason, my brain seems to be attacking me. I can't turn it off. I am finding no relief from the anger and inner rage.

Spirituality does not help. I have given up religion. I dislike meditation classes because of the religious aspect. Prayer is a waste of time; so is going to mass.

I do not do well socially. Never have. I don't enjoy the company of others much. All I want are friends even though I am not a lot of fun to be with. I don't understand interpersonal communication and relations at all.

I have exhausted most options. Tried almost all types of therapy. Recently, I was turned down for an in-depth dialectical behavior therapy program. The counselor suggested I try EMDR but I am not too keen on it.

It must be that I am too sick to make any progress. There is nothing for T's to work with - the childhood neglect and abuse I suffered was too damaging. The ostracization and bullying I received as an adult made things even worse. I guess I am a lost cause.

You are not alone. Psychodynamic psychotherapy is useless for PTSD. It IS useful for personality disorder which is a component of childhood ptsd. Many people ago are now diagnosed with c-ptsd have been correctly diagnosed with personality disorders. For some reason those diagnoses cause offense or create resistance, so the c-ptsd dx is more popular.

My rule of thumb is that if the trauma was one that happened when you needed to be able to*get adult assistance to understand what happened, you need therapy.

EMDR can get you flooded, especially of you have many traumatic episodes in your history.

I like body oriented therapies. You can actually get well. You can flip the switch from sympathetic arousal and hyper aroused parasympathy to friendly mellow parasympathy with high serotonin and low dopamine, the way you feel after a day swimming in the sea. You don't risk becoming a boor droning a trauma story in the false expectation that telling it often enough will somehow set you free. It has not been shown to do so. I've experienced relief from telling it to a good friend and had good friends experience relief upon telling me their story, but only when it comes about naturally and spontaneously. The only time telling it in therapy has really helped is when Ive needed support bearing strong grief; there is no magic in reciting the awful tale and being "validated". It is sad to see people bravely baring their souls in the believe they can be healed. It doesn't work and they become more and more determined to keep telling it until it does work. Then they become addicted to their story and you can see them drop into the sad face and pitiful posture as they get ready to recite the oft told tale, with dramatic pauses that cue you to say awww or something. It's degrading to participate in as listener or teller.

Of course religion does not help. Unhealed PTSD is attracted to rigid religion, because ptsd is a mind body split. Your spirituality will return as you heal trauma, deeper and richer. Trauma is considered an initiation into spiritual growth by some. In a sense we do die and are reborn when we feeeze in life threatening circumstances expecting injury or death.
.
Body oriented therapies are the way to go. Do your own research. There are some fine self help methods out there. I like TRE. You can learn from a book. Peter Levine's books are must reads. Names to know are Alan Schore and Stephen Porges.

PTSD is treatable. It is possible to live well with PTSD, even if we cant aged the dx, this need not disable for life. We are forever changed by our experiences. It's called growing up. The symptoms of PTSD can reverse. It's unnecessary to stay stuck in hyperarousal.

Check out Mikal Vega. Google vital warrior. If a Navy Seal can reverse the effects of combat trauma with yoga and shivering. I think the rest of us have no excuse not to get well. It's a threatening notion for some, but its saved my life from preplanned carefully thought out suicide.

Be careful in communities of people who like to identify with PTSD. You can get some advice based on appropriate treatment for other diagnoses that can be a waste of time or even injurious to PTSD (as described by the current DSM). It comes of therapists who misuse "ptsd" in the same way "add" or "pms" get misused in everyday speech.

I've found that as I get better, and feel more sociable, I attract ptsd folk in 3d. We have radar. We recognise each other. I find I just feel good and safe, especially around ptsd men. I've found we just like to stand near each other. It's called limbic resonance. There is a lot of good in being as we have become, when we come off the ceiling and learn to balance ourselves. And we do. An awful lot of us do.

Thanks, Teacake. I will do some research based on your recommendations.

I have a real hate of my body which may complicate body-oriented therapy. I know that I've always been a shallow breather - partly due to allergies - and am aware that it is not good for my muscles and probably my brain. I really need to learn to breathe normally; deep breathing exercises seem unnatural and have led nowhere. I will have to do conscious breathing rather than leave it to my unconscious brain functions.

I was raised by a mother who never hugged or touched her kids. With me in particular she was very verbally abusive and emotionally neglectful. She was also very manipulative. This left me naïve and vulnerable to abuse from others which has happened repeatedly. I am just not worldly and was raised to follow instructions, which I try to do to the letter. When others do not play by those rules, which is increasingly the case, I don't know what to do. Having been victimized often because of this, a big part of my c-PTSD is seeking revenge. Which I cannot do. Now, I have a lot of pent up anger and no longer enjoy the company of others nor trust others. Also, because I am a rule follower, I am not a lot of fun. I rarely smile and have to rely on "conscious smiling" where I have to remind myself to smile in the presence of others. It just does not come naturally. Also, since I am so uncomfortable in the company of others, there is some self-sabotage going on. It's very complex. T's have failed to grasp at how bad the situation is. They are shocked at how I do not seem to respond favorably to any treatment, failing to understand that there is no substitute for lack of parental nurturing. Some have advised that I should nurture myself but I have no clue how and, quite frankly, I have found that to be very bad advice. It is not possible to nurture oneself. It is also not possible for T's to nurture patients.

I have been treated cruelly on several jobs and socially. I didn't know what to do. Few have wanted to date me - even when I was young, fit and had hair on my head. One T told me that, with my personality and looks, I am always going to face this type of rejection. Now, I isolate a lot. I am afraid to go out. My c-PTSD is always raging. Meds have not helped much. My physical health continues to deteriorate.

Originally Posted by Teacake

You are not alone. Psychodynamic psychotherapy is useless for PTSD. It IS useful for personality disorder which is a component of childhood ptsd. Many people ago are now diagnosed with c-ptsd have been correctly diagnosed with personality disorders. For some reason those diagnoses cause offense or create resistance, so the c-ptsd dx is more popular.

My rule of thumb is that if the trauma was one that happened when you needed to be able to*get adult assistance to understand what happened, you need therapy.

EMDR can get you flooded, especially of you have many traumatic episodes in your history.

I like body oriented therapies. You can actually get well. You can flip the switch from sympathetic arousal and hyper aroused parasympathy to friendly mellow parasympathy with high serotonin and low dopamine, the way you feel after a day swimming in the sea. You don't risk becoming a boor droning a trauma story in the false expectation that telling it often enough will somehow set you free. It has not been shown to do so. I've experienced relief from telling it to a good friend and had good friends experience relief upon telling me their story, but only when it comes about naturally and spontaneously. The only time telling it in therapy has really helped is when Ive needed support bearing strong grief; there is no magic in reciting the awful tale and being "validated". It is sad to see people bravely baring their souls in the believe they can be healed. It doesn't work and they become more and more determined to keep telling it until it does work. Then they become addicted to their story and you can see them drop into the sad face and pitiful posture as they get ready to recite the oft told tale, with dramatic pauses that cue you to say awww or something. It's degrading to participate in as listener or teller.

Of course religion does not help. Unhealed PTSD is attracted to rigid religion, because ptsd is a mind body split. Christianity is not body friendly. It's full of dissociative practices. That's why ptsd makes such dangerous religious literalists, like the Taliban or our own version, the fascist Christian right. Your spirituality will return as you heal trauma, deeper and richer. Trauma is considered an initiation into spiritual growth by some. In a sense we do die and are reborn when we feeeze in life threatening circumstances expecting injury or death.
.
Body oriented therapies are the way to go. Do your own research. There are some fine self help methods out there. I like TRE. You can learn from a book. Peter Levine's books are must reads. Names to know are Alan Schore and Stephen Porges.

PTSD is treatable. It is possible to live well with PTSD, even if we cant aged the dx, this need not disable for life. We are forever changed by our experiences. It's called growing up. The symptoms of PTSD can reverse. It's unnecessary to stay stuck in hyperarousal.

Check out Mikal Vega. Google vital warrior. If a Navy Seal can reverse the effects of combat trauma with yoga and shivering. I think the rest of us have no excuse not to get well. It's a threatening notion for some, but its saved my life from preplanned carefully thought out suicide.

Be careful in communities of people who like to identify with PTSD. You can get some advice based on appropriate treatment for other diagnoses that can be a waste of time or even injurious to PTSD (as described by the current DSM). It comes of therapists who misuse "ptsd" in the same way "add" or "pms" get misused in everyday speech.

I've found that as I get better, and feel more sociable, I attract ptsd folk in 3d. We have radar. We recognise each other. I find I just feel good and safe, especially around ptsd men. I've found we just like to stand near each other. It's called limbic resonance. There is a lot of good in being as we have become, when we come off the ceiling and learn to balance ourselves. And we do. An awful lot of us do.

Thank you so much for this post, Teacake ... It has helped me to see some things in a way I'd never seen them before, and it makes a lot of sense to me!

And, unguy? ... I wish there was a way to make this all better for those of us who suffer with this C-PTSD. I am truly moved with deep empathy and compassion for you whenever I read your posts. It totally sucks that our families of origin (and society in general) have wounded us so deeply with nary a care or concern about the damage they've done! ...

I researched mind-body therapists in my area and left a message for one on Sunday. I spoke with him last night. After speaking with me for about 15 minutes, he informed that he does not accept insurance and that his hourly rate is substantial. I told him that, being on SSDI, I could not afford an appointment. He then called me back and offered a reduced rate for a one time visit. After that brief chat, he also said that I have severe mother issues and don't have c-PTSD at all. After 15 minutes on the phone he makes a diagnosis? He hardly had all of the issues. I have many, many symptoms of c-PTSD and I am certain that I suffer from it. The last thing I need is another head case T. I will have to keep looking for a new T who accepts my insurance.

[shezbut]

(((((unguy)))))

Just don't forget that you aren't alone. Many of us understand where you're coming from emotionally. We can relate and find some comfort in knowing that there are others who understand how we feel.

I have c-ptsd too, which can feel very alienating and hopeless inside. I have to try very hard to focus on the now, and try to let go of my past. I've also had to let go of my family, because reminders of them only keeps me down harder. I don't know if that's the healthy thing, but it generally works okay for me.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by unguy

I researched mind-body therapists in my area and left a message for one on Sunday. I spoke with him last night. After speaking with me for about 15 minutes, he informed that he does not accept insurance and that his hourly rate is substantial. I told him that, being on SSDI, I could not afford an appointment. He then called me back and offered a reduced rate for a one time visit. After that brief chat, he also said that I have severe mother issues and don't have c-PTSD at all. After 15 minutes on the phone he makes a diagnosis? He hardly had all of the issues. I have many, many symptoms of c-PTSD and I am certain that I suffer from it. The last thing I need is another head case T. I will have to keep looking for a new T who accepts my insurance.

I would question anyone who offers a diagnosis after a 15 minute conversation as well. I hope you find a therapist and treatment that works for YOU. I've been at this for a decade now and I have tried lots of things, mind/body, hypnosis, cranial sacral massage, EMDR, CBT, etc. Each of them have their pros and cons, so what's most important is finding what works best for you. I think with most therapies, it only takes a session or two to find out if it's helpful for you. I'm not familiar with everything that's available out there, and I'm sure some of it could be junk science, as is the case with so many things these days (ex: take this supplement and be the man you've always wanted to be, etc.). I've read on this site that there are books and research that I am curious about which might be worth a look.

My point is simply this, don't stop trying. It's out there, you'll find it, and your insurance will help pay for it. That's what I had to do, which made me feel extremely frustrated but in the end, it has all paid off. My ptsd will never go away, but I am getting to the point where I have learned to live with it in peace. If someone had told me when I first started seeking treatment all those years ago that I would be where I am now, I would have LMAO and then promptly sat down and cried.

WW

[MotownJohnny]

15 minute diagnosis - impossible to give an accurate diagnosis in 15 minutes. When I was misdiagnosed by a quack, it took all of 5 minutes. When I found the doctor I see now, she wouldn't really commit to a diagnosis per se until after three appointments, the first being an hour 20 minutes. My therapist took about 3 months of weekly hourly sessions to tell me her opinion, which was the same the current psychiatrist later came to.