[Lexicon78]

Ok...I've correlated a dream I had some time ago with a murder case that is currently going on in my home town.

When I was about 14 or 15 I had a terrifying dream that left me shaken...even to this day...I am now 27. I dreamed that I was kidnapped and raped by some men...I remember there were 3 of them. I even remember the make and model of the car...but there is a murder trial where just that thing happened on Halloween to a 11 year old girl some 10 years or more ago...they finally found the 3 guys who did it and they are on trial for it right now.

In the dream I remember being so terrified...that feeling you get when you become so terrified that you become sick to your stomach and your body shakes...trauma survivors know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Well, I had the same feeling in my dream. Now I have the same exact feeling when I think of that little girl and what she went through.

Is it that dream that is causing the stirring of the feelings of terror inside of me...or is it something more? Some days I wonder if it is the little girl herself trying to speak to me...I know that sounds crazy but I don't know what is causing me to feel this terror in my body, but not in my mind.

The worst part of it all is that I used to hang out with one of the guys that did this to the little girl...(I used to hang out with the older crowd when I was about 12).

[(JD)]

Wow LEXI that is alot of association you have with the current trial. The trial is from the incident that happened some 10 years ago? Could you be remembering aspects of it from then, and not be right on with how old you were or the date of the incident? It might have some correlation with your fears then, and you are projecting them into this? That you knew one of the guys... that would sure shake me up too! (((hugs))))

[CedarS]

Memory can be a tricky thing. Sky has some very good suggestions.

Keep taking really really good care of yourself through this. Time to keep boundaries strong. The combination of the current murder case, your own experiences, and your dream is quite the potent mix.

I don't quite have the words for it yet, but I've experienced something like what you are describing. When it happens, I take it to mean that I am triggered, that I am having a physical reaction to that fact (adrenaline rush, flight or fight sensation, terror, hypervigilance etc.) and that it is time to pay good attention to self-care.

((((((Lexi)))))))