[color_splash]

Hi everyone, I've read the forums for a while and I wanted to introduce myself. I have a lot of experience with PTSD, I've had it for quite a few years. It's a big monkey on my back most of the time, but I am thankful that the diagnosis has caused me to seek help and start to make healthier decisions for myself.

It's a constant struggle. Sometimes I want a vacation from it. I get little breaks where I am hanging out with friends and I forget that I have PTSD, but that only lasts until I'm triggered or get intrusive memories.

I'm glad that the forum is here and that I'm not the only one coping with this disorder every minute of every day.

[Open Eyes]

Welcome to PC color splash, yes I agree it is a beast of a disorder. I am sorry that you have been struggling with it, I can totally relate to the desire for a vacation from it.
I have said that many times, but unless one understands PTSD they don't get what that really means.

I am truely struggling myself, I hope you have a good therapist, I am not sure the one I have now is going to last, he has depression himself and sometimes he looks very tired.
I wonder if I am too much for him, he looks tired before we even start.

Open Eyes

[(JD)]

Too bad you suffer, good that you're here.

[color_splash]

Thanks for the welcome!

[Open Eyes] I can relate, it took me a long time to find a good therapist. I also once had a Dr. who always seemed tired and stressed, it made it hard to open up to them. In my opinion, it's not because I was "too much to handle;" it's about finding someone who knows how to help me handle what I am going through. For me, it was well worth the long search to find someone who was the right fit. I think having a good therapist is one of the single most important factors in learning to cope and recover.

[Open Eyes]

Well, I went to see him tonite and I addressed the issue and how I felt head on. He appologized and told me he was glad that I was able to tell him that I was upset. He explained that he was burning the candle at both ends and that our meeting time was the worst part of his day when he is very tired.

And he made the effort to listen to me and he recognized that I am serious about the excuse game and that he needs to be honest with me, he agreed an appologized. So I am giving him another go.

I really need him to meet with my husband again and my daughter who truely doen't understand my PTSD, I can't blame her, I have had a hard time understanding it myself.
I can't help what I have, I tried very hard and gave her everything I could. But the damage to her horse caused by my neighbor's dog has really upset her, and things have been very strained since then.

I am trying, but its so hard when people around you just don't understand how difficult it is, what a real struggle it truely is.

Open Eyes