Im sick of people telling me to get over it , its was four years ago .

(((Starcity))))

Sorry that happens to you. It does make one feel they are doing something wrong.
I have had people say that to me for years and I always wondered why I could not just forget things that happened to me. Sometimes I thought people were lieing to me about being able to forget bad or upsetting experiences. It leads me to think that I must have had some PTSD going on for a long time. But I never had it the way I struggle with it now.

In reality no one forgets, it is just that people who don't have a lot of trama are just more capable of not allowing bad things to control them emotionally, or so they say.

When I revisit my own past I see the youngest child in me who was very much controled by her siblings.
I can remember my struggle to be heard and be an individual. When I review it the way I am through PTSD, I can see that I had a lot more stressful, fearful, confusing childhood than I realized. Perhaps these OTHERS got to have moments in their childhoods where they had some kind of control and sense of safety, so for them, there is an imprinting that this is possible so they become much more adaptable later on. But it was not like that for me, I struggled ever since I can remember. There must be some kind of persona that I exude that promts others to disrespect me in someway. And it can also be the others who do the disrespecting that got away with that as children as well.

Now that I think of it, I also get more emotional when I AM trying to stand up and be heard and fight back or press on. So, without my realizing it, I probably appear more vulnerable, or even as though I am over reacting as well. Part of the not being able to forget is that somewhere we learned the every issue is something we HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO AND REMEMBER AS SOME KIND OF SIGNAL OF ABUSE OF SOME KIND THREAT.

When I revisit my childhood, I realize that children know so little so anything bad always comes as a surprise to them. I can clearly see that I personally just never got the chance to truely feel safe and I certainly didn't have the knowledge or skills to do that for myself, especially when I was a baby where some of my most troubling Flashback/body memories/emotional stress memories occurred.

These are the important factors that all the OTHERS that SAY, "JUST" FORGET, GET OVER, DEAL, do not see. Had I not experienced this PTSD that brings up these troubling real memories, I would not truely realize what I am saying here. Many children simply block out the troubling things they experience, we are designed to do this, but for the tramatized child, there is always and extra sensitivity and they don't always understand why it is there only that it is there, and yes, they struggle to forget because it is not just a simple memory, it is an emotionally upsetting memory.

Open Eyes

it sure is people need to walk in your shoes to understand it , ptsd is debilatating sorry about my spelling

similarly, i not only have ppl in my life that think I 'should get over it' but they also don't 'get' that you don't have to be the one that actually physically suffered to have ptsd. My husband has been chronically ill since 2009 and I've watched him code and be planced on a ventilator 4 times now...the most recent was just last Weds.!!! I was being prepared to pull the plug if he couldn't breathe on his own. I never relax, never sleep, constantly waiting for the next 'event'...he has a spinal cord injury and it's like keeping humpty dumpty together! I jump at a pin dropping, sarcasm, turn so angry, moody, anxious, can't sleep, then sleep too much. I feel like I'm swiiming to shore with him under my arm...and I'm not getting any closer, I can't keep going...the shore is fading...etc.

no, because I do not let those kind of people into my life.

I have heard you can get ptsd from seeing someone else in a suffering situation . all the best to you , hugs

Wow! I just came back to this thread ... (c)PTSD is very real. And we are ALL VALIDATED! We will NOT "Just get over it". We will not "Forget about it".

And we don't choose to be miserable.

We don't consider ourselves "Victims" because we are too busy trying to work out/figure out how to feel better and be productive and thrive.

That person came on this thread with a very specific agenda: which started out as benign comment(s). And when confronted, finally expressed their own "truth" (which they believe is the WORD - blah blah blah yada yada yada).

FGsake, I am sorry I read some of the words that were written by that person because they were complete and total vitriol: simply written to incite. Trigger.

Not feeding into it today, though. Too tired.

And frankly, as soon as I see someone with an Agenda that is glowing neon (like this one), I write it off completely.

We have SURVIVED (or are just hanging on by a thread) and are working hard on seeing the light of day so we can learn to THRIVE.

NOBODY has a right to tell us how to feel or worse to tell us how we feel.

I once said to my sister, trying to lighten the mood a bit, as I was wakling her to the door of the psych ward to say goodbye, 'I'm really not crazy', and her reply was 'well stop acting like you are'...she hugged me and turned and walked away!!!

((((catesfate)))),

That is a typical response from people ((family)) who are ignorant. If your sister was able to actually sit with a therapist she would know to say, "Sis, I am sorry you are struggling, you are NOT crazy, I hear you and you can work through this, just keep trying, you will work through this, "you are not crazy, you just have PTSD" I am here for you, just keep trying.

That is what people need to SAY TO US AS WE STRUGGLE WITH THIS DISORDER.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

Good idea , I have distanced myself from my xhusband's family

You don't just get over something like that. The emotional scars stick, IMO. Yeah, we can try and learn ways to cope with it. But you're not just going to "get over" abuse. Sorry you've heard hurtful comments too. Even more sorry you went through the abuse.

Ignorant people. IMO you don't just "get over" abuse. You hopefully learn to live with the memories, and cope best you can. But you're always going to have those hard times. Esp. if you have PTSD or some other mental health disorder. People have no right to tell others when they should be over something. People deal with things differently, heal differently. You deserve to have support. It seems a lot of people can't deal with people suffering.

Unfortunately, my family and (prior) friends considered my suffering inconvenient, inconsiderate, selfish and too depressing for them to deal with.