[AngelWolf3]

I suffer from PTSD from a robbery that occurred a few years ago. Needless to say I don't enjoy being startled. (among other things, but I won't ramble) I just started a new job a few weeks ago, and one of the employees came by my office and scared the crap out of me by slamming down a piece of wood on the counter while I was engrossed in a task. So I am now freaking out, very shaky, and trying not to cry.

Any calming techniques since I can't exactly leave and go hide under my covers?

Any ideas on how to get this guy to stop (apparently he is quite the jokester) without coming off as a jerk and without going into detail about my issues?

Thanks so much.

[Open Eyes]

Wolfin,

Hi and welcome to PC. I am sorry that you went through that experience that resulted in your having this reaction to this type of situation. It is called and exaggerated startle response and it IS troubling.

Your sense of safety was put at risk a few years ago and whenever that happens you DO become more sensitive.

You need to keep reminding yourself that while you were startled it was not what happened a few years ago and you are ok. Then you have to allow yourself to slow down your breathing and take in Deep breaths, slowly down into your stomach, hold and slowly exhale. When we are startled we tend to also take short breaths which is what we do when we are also under the stress of a real threat. So by slowing that down you gain more control and that also tells your brain that you are safe and no need for high alert to continue.

I think you need to tell this man the truth, that you experienced a robbery in the past and that kind of behavior still upsets you. You don't have to go into that you have PTSD or anything else.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

I suffer from PTSD from a robbery that occurred a few years ago. Needless to say I don't enjoy being startled. (among other things, but I won't ramble) I just started a new job a few weeks ago, and one of the employees came by my office and scared the crap out of me by slamming down a piece of wood on the counter while I was engrossed in a task. So I am now freaking out, very shaky, and trying not to cry.

Any calming techniques since I can't exactly leave and go hide under my covers?

Any ideas on how to get this guy to stop (apparently he is quite the jokester) without coming off as a jerk and without going into detail about my issues?

Thanks so much.

Oh damn that's the worst...I mean of all things that PTSD comes with that is almost the worst. I mean you're doing ok and then all the sudden 'loud noise' and you find yourself trying to calm yourself from the startle response all the while possibly getting worried about being stared at if you can't keep the shakiness under control. I freaking hate it as well, I prefer if I can just go hide somewhere as well but you're right not always a possibility.

One thing that is supposed to help I think is trying to calm your breathing...and if possible you could maybe take a 'bathroom' break to get away from all the chaos to easier calm yourself. I've done that before it doesn't always work perfectly but it can help some. Uhh my issue is its gotten to the point I can't even be out in public long enough to apply for any jobs let alone being able to function for the job hours. Anyways does your employer know about your PTSD?

[Spiderlegs]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Any ideas on how to get this guy to stop (apparently he is quite the jokester) without coming off as a jerk and without going into detail about my issues?

Thanks so much.

Welcome, Wolfin3, there are lots of good souls on this forum! I just showed up a few weeks ago. Wished I'd found it sooner.

Smile and tell the guy that the last time someone did that you just automatically ripped his family jewels off before ya knew it! I bet he stops. :<)

[AngelWolf3]

Openeyes: thank you for the advice on telling the co-worker.

Spiderlegs: that was hilarious!!! I am giggling in the office and I am sure the other person working down here thinks I am Nuts (no pun intended...or was there? lol)

Hellion: they don't; I really was in denial about the whole thing for a long time, plus i work as a court/police clerk in a PD that I had hopes of being a reserve officer for. I have realized, though, that I should share this with them because I will not be in any position to serve the public in that capacity if I startle that easily!

I appreciate the responses, and will be "lurking" about the forum bit by bit to absorb any information that I can!

[Spiderlegs]

Hang in there with us, Wolfin3! Humor is the only way I've survived. Through this isolation, I miss laughter the most. I've found it very difficult to laugh alone, but I'm forcing my self to do so before I forget how!

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Openeyes: thank you for the advice on telling the co-worker.

Spiderlegs: that was hilarious!!! I am giggling in the office and I am sure the other person working down here thinks I am Nuts (no pun intended...or was there? lol)

Hellion: they don't; I really was in denial about the whole thing for a long time, plus i work as a court/police clerk in a PD that I had hopes of being a reserve officer for. I have realized, though, that I should share this with them because I will not be in any position to serve the public in that capacity if I startle that easily!

I appreciate the responses, and will be "lurking" about the forum bit by bit to absorb any information that I can!

I denied mine as well, I was ready to go to college and get on with my life so I didn't want to acknowledge it, I thought I could just bury it deep inside never to surface again. Well it certainly did surface alright and now there is no hiding from it or running from it.

But anyways I also find it very frustrating having to acknowledge how having PTSD limits my ability to function and that pushing those limits tends to make my symptoms worse over all. Then people not understanding of course. So anyways I totally get the denial thing and not wanting to be slowed down by it. But I think it would be a good idea to address this issue before you end up in a job position that would make things worse. I mean I hate saying that even because know how frustrating it can be when you want to do something but you can't. However depending on your employer, if therapy or other treatment would help maybe you could keep up with that job...main thing is pushing yourself too hard is certainly not a good idea with PTSD I've learned that the hard way.

[Spiderlegs]

This talk about jobs has me remembering some things. In the 70's (during the same time as the car wreck, murder of my sister, etc, etc.) I managed the collection division of a credit bureau...bill collector. Can't find a more stressful job. In that five years, I had a gun pulled on me twice. And you don't make a lot of friends. I'm beginning to realize it's a freakin' miracle I survived it all ! There is so much I just haven't even thought about and dismissed as trivial. I miss working!

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by Spiderlegs

This talk about jobs has me remembering some things. In the 70's (during the same time as the car wreck, murder of my sister, etc, etc.) I managed the collection division of a credit bureau...bill collector. Can't find a more stressful job. In that five years, I had a gun pulled on me twice. And you don't make a lot of friends. I'm beginning to realize it's a freakin' miracle I survived it all ! There is so much I just haven't even thought about and dismissed as trivial. I miss working!

Wow. I am so sorry to hear of all of your experiences especially as they occured all at the same time! I am sending hopeful thoughts your way as I realize that I am glad that I am able to somewhat function "normally." Thank you for sharing and I'm glad to hear you survived! What are some of your coping things that you do when you experience triggers?

[Spiderlegs]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Wow. I am so sorry to hear of all of your experiences especially as they occured all at the same time! I am sending hopeful thoughts your way as I realize that I am glad that I am able to somewhat function "normally." Thank you for sharing and I'm glad to hear you survived! What are some of your coping things that you do when you experience triggers?

You don't want to use any of the 'coping techniques' I've used...they're all wrong! Running away is my biggest one. Smoking cigarettes, screaming out of frustration, or just 'pretending' there is no problem or just 'trying harder' next time.....none of it worthwhile. Actually some years ago, I did meditation, and it was helpful. I caught such hell from the people around me for it that I finally quit.

My biggest problem now is that I don't want to 'cope' any more. I'm sick of all of it.

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by Spiderlegs

My biggest problem now is that I don't want to 'cope' any more. I'm sick of all of it.

I hear you on that one. I wish I had some 'sage' advice for you! Strange enough, I too, tried the smoking and drinking thing as well. My body didn't care too much for that, though so now I am not coping at all, lol.

Well, if you need to vent, ever, feel free! That's about all I have left to do...I am going to try the therapy thing, but we will see how that goes!

Hey, maybe you could secretly take meditation back up. If it worked for you before, and you enjoyed it, give it a go again! No one would have to know. (Just a thought, but who am I lol)