Losing it!

I feel like I'm losing it....things have been stressful at work, my anxiety is high, I'm pissed off, and I am jumping out of my skin. How can you feel depressed, angry, and anxious at the same time...I feel awful today and I feel like I'm going to nut up. The only thing that seems safe is to crawl into bed and try to sleep it off. I'm so sick of this PTSD crap, I'm feeling like I'll never make it some days. Ugh!

((((Mogie)))),

Yes, you are describing symptoms of PTSD and you are right, it does get very tiring. I can relate to just wanting to crawl in bed in hopes to sleep it off myself. Yes one can feel depressed, angry, and be full of anxiety all at the same time. And it can be stressful if you are trying to work while struggling with PTSD at the same time.

Mogie, are you seeing a therapist? If you are not, then you really need to find one that specializes in treating PTSD. You need to have someone that you can go to every week and discuss all your feelings like you are describing above with. It is good that you are here and allowing yourself to vent out what your feeling. I know it can be very lonely and tiring, I hear you as I have been struggling myself, so you are not really alone even if it feels that way because I know myself that other people around us simply DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT and tend to SAY ALL THE WRONG THINGS that only aggrivate it.

I am thinking about going to a thread I started just to vent myself because I really had a very difficult week last week and yesterday took the cake. I don't think anyone is going to solve my problems, but at least others understand the difficulty of the journey with PTSD.

Please vent if you need to, it is good for you to know you are not alone. What are you doing for yourself to help YOU?

It is important to be kind to yourself and remember that you DO have PTSD and NO, there are things you are going to experience and feel that are really not your fault and you are going to have to take time to give yourself a chance to work on it slowly.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

(((((hugs))))))

Thanks for the Hugs Feeling better today. I do have a really great therapist, who works with trauma. I get frustrated because I feel like I shouldn't be going round and round with things, and I don't like to bug my T all the time with things. I'm pretty isolated right now, so my T is the only one I have to rely on to help. I have a few friends but they don't really get it, and work is driving me bonkers. I'm having a hard time slowing down and dealing with PTSD therapeutically instead of just powering through. Thanks for reminding me to take it slowly.

(((Mogie))),

Yes, me too, but with PTSD that is what happens we go round and round with things.
I know, it is tiring and there is a wonder WHY this happens as though you are stuck.
And it gets frustrating that others don't understand how challenging it is, and sometimes that can lead to anger and frustration, even be a trigger in itself.

At least you felt better and in that will realize that when the rounds come and trouble you and stress you, remember they do pass. The goal is to get past this to finding a new way to feel safe in yourself. Yes, this takes time and a lot of validation and often many rounds where you feel down like you discribed above. Yes, I have that too and I can say that I hate it as well. No, you cannot rush it even when you really want to. It truely has to run it's course and you have to allow yourself time and patience with it. I know, it is very frustrating, me too and unfortunately that is PTSD.

Keep going to your therapist and let it out, don't worry about bothering your therapist, that feeling is most likely a self denial you were taught unknowingly I have that as well. Just keep trying and be patient and kind to yourself. Come and vent, cry, ask when you need to here. As I mentioned at least you can be with others that know what you are talking about and struggle with it as well.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

Yeah, that's always easier said than done. Whenever I get an episode I feel almost as if I can't breath, therefore I can't think for the life of me.

PTSD is such a horrible thing. Can't stand it anymore.

I hear you. So many emotions and feelings all at once - unless it's a sort of blackout when everything goes completely numb. So exhausting. I haven't started therapy yet - still waiting - but I find myself growing impatient, even now.

I hope today is restful, for you - and that you remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Take care...