My rant.

It's is becoming more and more difficult for me to read on the forums. I'm posting this here because it's stressing me out, even though I would rather put it up front in general! Too many ppl who just don't understand would read it and reply ignorantly there, imo. (Ignorant in the proper sense.)

So many ppl posting social stuff in the General forum, or relationship stuff in general, because it "gets more reading in General." It's about to run me off the site, personally. IMO for some reason the Mods aren't able to move posts to where they belong, and remind newcomers and oldtimes alike that if all the posts were to go into one forum, DocJohn wouldn't have created all the different forums.

The general forum is where members go to read notes and questions that don't belong anywhere else, or items needing a general membership concensus, of importance or interest to all.

Too much social, relationship and other stuff in there! I normally read quite well, but when I'm stressed I am "barred" from reading the General forum because of clutter. I need to just know what important stuff is going on... general queries etc, not who's zooming who and such. I'm particularly upset because I missed something important because I couldn't read through all the clutter.

Yes, you're reading about my major trigger: people not doing what they know to do, or doing things they know better than doing. When I was injured, that's what happened and I didn't get any care for 3 days... then later and still continuing, authorities (ppl who make decisions) made excuses, accused others etc and still didn't correct the problems. Got me? Don't suggest I try and work through this, I've been in intensive therapy for over 17 years trying to work through this.

I'm not posting against any one member. I'm not upset with a brand new person getting their feet wet in posting in General. I'm not taking names or making note in any fashion. I don't run the site, I'm not a mod. I'm just another member and one who is quite frustrated right now. I don't wish for rebuttals in my thread here. If someone doesn't understand, then just leave it alone. Few ppl really understand PTSD and that includes those who have it. It just seems like when I need Psych Central the most, that is when I can't have it.

Can you tell it hasn't been a good week? I don't know how well I can continue until after the assessment. I actually feared the team coming yesterday without notice, just to see if I was telling the truth. All in my head?!

I'm trying to limit my posting during this time, but many of you have PM'd me wondering what's wrong. It's ok, you can continue to PM me and ask questions or whatever... I'm just trying to limit my responses as they might be tainted with sarcasm if I detect something triggering. This is my problem OK? I know it. Just letting you know, just letting off some steam... though it often doesn't do me any good. I need a break...don't see one anytime soon. TC

Sorry you are feeling that it's hard to be here Sky.

It's especially hard to be triggered in a place where one hopes to be safe-- but-- it does happen, usually not intentional, although that doesn't make the triggers any less upsetting. (it's happened to me
many times )

Please know I am thinking of you.

mandy

Sky - I have enjoyed and appreciated your posts. Over and over.

I sincerely apologize if I have posted stuff where it should not be.

Without being personal - perhaps I should refrain from posting until ......

I am not taking this peronally - but I am one that posts where it "seems" to be most comfortable. Perhaps I have been so so wrong!

Reading my last post - perhaps I am taking it personally - I don't know .....

I wasn't aiming at you or anyone with my rant, Sabrina. Don't take it as an attack (nor should anyone) but a reminder IF it applies to you...

I know when I "lose" my composure here it can affect the whole site...for many reasons. I try very hard not to be frivolous with such things, but, as I said, this is my problem, this trigger, this response.

With that said, PC is a site that works because it we all help it to work. If MANY members, for whatever reason (and I include many uncontrollable type reasons like the disorders) quit working at "bothering" or thinking or caring, then the site won't work like it can. That doesn't mean it isn't a good site anymore, for it truly is still. That doesn't mean it isn't safe anymore, for again it truly is, still.

All this means is that I, "_Sky" have been triggered beyond total control and hopes by posting, the members of PC who support me so much will understand.

No one has to feel I'm upset with them...NO ONE because I'm not. I know this isn't something personal against me... I have grown enough in therapy to know that. I hope you all believe me, and don't hide or feel angry or anything.

I'm ok... you're ok...PC's ok.

I'm ok ... I know I am.

And I still enjoy you, appreciate you, respect you....

Something resonates with me here ... but I guess that is just me and I should deal with it.

We're all ok - yet I think I will deal with this another day .......

I feel, strongly - that I should say - to one and all - if I post where I shouldn't - I am deeply sorry.

This is my home! I am happy here.

Sky - I remembered so little about this place after my ECT in early 2005. But I remembered enough to come back!!

There ARE a few people I remember - you are one of those.

And I shall leave this whole thing and what it is meaning to me right there ....

I remain in awe of you!

(((((((((( Sky ))))))))))))

I think it's okay to vent. My T says I don't have the hang of it - letting things overboil and not letting them out in an appropriate manner. So, venting is good.

I am new to this forum because of my main problem DID, which actually stemmed from PTSD and the two swirl together somethings. Who knows . . . . . frustrating . . . . . . anyway, I'm not offended and thank you for taking the care to mention that your "rant" was not aimed at anyone. Because I'm sure you know that some of us are way to sensitive to this type of post and take everything as a personal attack. But you said you weren't so we're okay.

I certainly hope you don't go away as you have offered some great insight. But, I understand if you have to step back - just for a little while though, not like, two years or something. (humor).

Best Wishes,

(((((((((((( Sky ))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you.

Sigh. Thank you all for your sincere replies. I'm doing O K. Thought - blocking helps me... it isn't "just" the clutter in General, though. It's never just one thing, as we all know.

My Mother fell...twice... again. Only this time she went against all our "agreed to" safety tips. She refused medical/emergency help, but then the next day called ME to help her out (which I can't do.) If she had followed what she said she would...she wouldn't have fallen (twice in one day doing the same thing.) She then stated she did it to spite me (she had also done some stuff earlier in the week "to spite" me she said.) They say the one closest and doing the most for the aging parent, often gets the backlashing... ouch.

There's other stuff too... it's "just" that I really "use" PC for my mental health progress... and then... you know?

Rut roh... just heard/felt thunder! No rain in 40 days and now we get a thunderstorm????