[Nightwish]

Please Help, anybody that has or is coping with flashbacks. I thought I had this under control but now it is Autumn again a major trigger for me. My son was murdered 5 years ago in the Fall he was only 3 at the time. Every detail has been replaying in my mind and in my dreams. I can't talk to anybody about this because they think I should be over it and are sick of me reacting this way. I miss him so much. Its like I'm reliving everything all over again. The hospital,him being in a coma, the court trips for 2 years. It all feels so fresh.

[AngelWolf3]

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am also sorry that everyone thinks you should be over it; it is hard to lose a close family member, let alone a child. You definitely do NOT have to be over it!!! (I know I wouldn't be if it were one of my children) I don't think we were designed to bury our children.

As far as the flashbacks, I know it sounds silly, but sometimes, when I am having issues with my own flashbacks, my therapist has suggested creating a "safe place" in my mind to go to (not dissociating, though) and just ground yourself there, like imagine the grass in your toes, or sand or wherever you are at...or if someone is there with you, holding you, or if you are hugging an animal, or whatever. Try to imagine sounds and smells too. That has helped me,....sometimes. Sorry if that seems crazy, just a suggestion, maybe it will work for you?

I do not have an experience like yours, so I can only offer hugs, and hopes that someone else here can provide some more comfort. My heart goes out to you.

I am so sorry for your loss. And for the pain and suffering you are experiencing. I would encourage you to find a really good T that specializes in grief and trauma. In the meantime, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

I cannot imagine how much you must be hurting. There are very caring, lovely people here that will also help see you through this difficult time.

[Nightwish]

Thank You so much for the advice I will try that and let you know how it helps.

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am also sorry that everyone thinks you should be over it; it is hard to lose a close family member, let alone a child. You definitely do NOT have to be over it!!! (I know I wouldn't be if it were one of my children) I don't think we were designed to bury our children.

As far as the flashbacks, I know it sounds silly, but sometimes, when I am having issues with my own flashbacks, my therapist has suggested creating a "safe place" in my mind to go to (not dissociating, though) and just ground yourself there, like imagine the grass in your toes, or sand or wherever you are at...or if someone is there with you, holding you, or if you are hugging an animal, or whatever. Try to imagine sounds and smells too. That has helped me,....sometimes. Sorry if that seems crazy, just a suggestion, maybe it will work for you?

I do not have an experience like yours, so I can only offer hugs, and hopes that someone else here can provide some more comfort. My heart goes out to you.

[Open Eyes]

". I can't talk to anybody about this because they think I should be over it and are sick of me reacting this way. " Quote Nightwish

(((Nightwish)))),

If anyone replies that you "should be" over this trajedy, they are insensitve and ignorant. A trajedy of losing a child is something we never truely "get over". Parents greive this the rest of their lives.

You deserve all the support you need to get through this very difficult season where you genuinely struggle with this tramatic loss.

(((( Hugs for healing and support and prayers for you and your loss))))
Open Eyes

[Nightwish]

Thank you for reasuring me that it's okay to still feel this way. Any suggestions on how to deal with these people who think I should be over it?

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

". I can't talk to anybody about this because they think I should be over it and are sick of me reacting this way. " Quote Nightwish

(((Nightwish)))),

If anyone replies that you "should be" over this trajedy, they are insensitve and ignorant. A trajedy of losing a child is something we never truely "get over". Parents greive this the rest of their lives.

You deserve all the support you need to get through this very difficult season where you genuinely struggle with this tramatic loss.

(((( Hugs for healing and support and prayers for you and your loss))))
Open Eyes

[AngelWolf3]

Man, the snarky side of me has some mean things to say to the insensitive people. But, I don't have any good ideas for a tactful rebuttal...so I will stay positive and hope someone else who is better at this will have some great ideas!!! I am sorry!