[Lexicon78]

I really feel like I'm losing it tonight. I was just laying in bed and the thoughts came...not only am I expected to go see my pdoc tomorrow, but Andy and his dad want me to go to the family's cabin...in a place called Rockland. Well, Rockland is where my ex made me touch that little girl. It's where he strangled me. It's where it ALL happened.

All Andy will say is "you'll be ok" or "I'm here" or some %#@&#! like that. It feels like he doesn't even care! I can't go there! When I see that road I go into a panic attack...when I'm near there I go into a panic attack. What is he gonna do when I'm so close to that hell that I cannot function and he really thinks I've really lost it????

It's too soon! It's been 6 years and it's just too soon for me!

[walkswithspiritbear]

(((((((Lexicon))))))wow my heart is feeling your fear right now!!! I would just tell him NO and since he knows of the issues I for the life of me can not understand why he would push...There must be somewhere else to vacation? (if that is what that is suppose to be) I am sorry I don't know you well and it's hard to know what to say except for what is in my heart. I do hope that this all works out for , there is absolutely no reason why you should have to do this )that I can understand). Please take care and know that you have friends here who will care. Linda

[LILITH]

Lexie {{{{{safe hug}}}}} sorry about everything you are going through....I am here...

[Ohlostme]

I'll tell you something, Lexicon -- my PTSD came from a childhood of bullying. I was verbally, emotionally and physically attacked every day of my childhood. If someone in my life now tried to get me to go to a place where I could expect to either get that same kind of treatment, or, perhaps go back to the old neighborhood(s) where it happened, I'd drop them like a hot rock. It would be clear to me that they weren't sensitive to my pain. I don't know who Andy is to you, but it sounds like he doesn't have your best interests at heart.

Just my two cents.

Hang tough. We're here for you. ((( )))

[(JD)]

Most ppl don't have a clue about PTSD. That's even after a psychologist explains it to them. Some of us with PTSD don't have a clue... and the rest of us forget when we are triggered anyway.

JUST SAY NO, lexi! You're an adult now... why willingly (or unwillingly) go to a place for no good reason??? TC of yourself...no one else will.

[Lexicon78]

I didn't go. I told Andy to just lie about where I was or that I was sick or something.

Unfortunately, Andy is my boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think he's very understanding at all.