[9874]

Family get-together coming up in 2 months. And I'm already experiencing anticipatory anxiety.
The abuse has stopped over 12 years ago, and at the get-together things will be just fine. My folks have really made a huge turnaround, are supportive emotionally and financially. Wow! I can't believe it's actually true! The belt has been laid to rest, so has the hot clothes iron, the flying objects, the spankings, the rage, but the terror has remained ingrained in the very fiber of my being. Nightmares and flashbacks will be common fare the next 8 weeks, as usually happens prior to a family get-together.
What I would like help with is ideas on how to manage the anticipatory anxiety. Any ideas would be much appreciated!
I thank you all in advance!

[lenjan]

I wish I had a good answer for you. All I do for that sort of thing is take extra Xanax! If you ever figure out a way to stop it "naturally," instead of with meds, please do let me know!

[Rhapsody]

I would recommend a book my T suggested to ME three years ago and it has done wonders in helping me release my unresolved wounds.... check it out in the Rate & View section - it is called: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.

AND - I use Celexa to help calm my nerves / anxiety..... so maybe talk to your doctor about getting on some medicine - at least 2 months before the event is to take place.
Valerian works wonder to - it is OCD (natural herb) that can be purchased at your local store and it safe to take in most cases.... I use it in between Celexa, when needed.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[(JD)]

Extra time for yourself in meditation and calming might help. Keep reminding yourself that things are different, they really are...and that things will be ok and afterwards you will be ok too.

Unfortunately it usually takes many of these experiences to be ok, for you to begin to believe that they are ok!

Special self care, and reassurance is a good step.

[bebop]

I agree with everyone above but I would like to add forgiveness also helps. I know it is very difficult to do that. been there myself and my abuser is gone now but still those memories remain. but I really feel forgiveness is a big step. You did say they are much better now right?

[9874]

Thank you all for your kind words and support! Much appreciated! I believe that taking good care of myself (thanks, Sky, for that reminder) will be very helpful to me.

[hillbunnyb]

tooo bad one can't dip in and out of reunions. digest bit by bit. . . they're soooo ALL or NOTHING, aren't they? Could you take a supportive pal along? Schedule in breathing breaks.....
start now using self hypnosis to make lavender, or another scent, trigger a calm response..... you could sniff it during the ordeal to calm yourself back down...... )))))))) )9874(((((((

[(JD)]

Well sure you can take it in bits and pieces imo!!! Just because someone has planned lunch here and activity there etc does NOT mean you have to go to each thing!!!! Of course you might want to find out when the main family photo(s) are going to be taken... and catch that, but there is no reason to stress yourself out by trying to spend the entire time with family! Oh no!!