[mtd]

Hi. This can be TRIGGERING, but I need to express this, so if you're up to it, you can listen.

My legs have been numb for three days now. I'm so sick of this. There's nothing wrong with my legs. They've just been feeling like this ever since a therapy session when I really faced the fact that I couldn't move my legs when I was raped as a child. He tied them, spread open, to the stairs. I was left standing, unable to move, while he and the other one took turns brutalizing me.

I'm told these are "body memories." Anyone else get these? I hate them. I also get sharp pains across my face where he hit me. I feel some other stuff also, the stuff that makes it pretty much impossible to welcome any intimacy today.

This feels so unfair. I really prefer to focus on positive recovery, but this is so painful. I guess I just need to grieve for a while. I really want them off my body after all these years.

Thanks for listening.

mtd

Yes I have alot of sensory flashbacks (body memories). Im told its normal. Give it some time it will stop.

[(JD)]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so with such memories. Since you are already in the memory of late, can you try addressing it directly (you already did some, to us here..) Tell yourself yes that did happen, but it isn't happening now. Tell yourself that you didn't have any control of that then, but now you do and you don't need to "protect" yourself from those memories anymore. Use your own words but the emphasis is the same: validate that what you went through was truly horrible, but now you are safe and can find other ways to be safe, those things won't happen any more. TC

[Evangelista]

I suffer from body memories too..I have been told by several Therapists that some how the body remembers..an energy is kept surrounding the incident..I have somatic nervous system responses along with the musclular where I loose my eye sight and other junk.

So I am sorry you are having to go thru these awful somatic responses..they are scary to endure, and make it hard to determine if you are having a real medical crisis or reliving/responding to a past trauma

[Pmarie]

Yes, I have body memories too. When my images of abuse &/or the feelings surface, I go rigid, or my legs start pedaling to get away, my feet and hands curl up, and on and on. These memories have been trapped inside of us, frozen, and when they happen they are a good thing, even though they can be terrifying.

[Rhapsody]

BOY do I ever get these body memories..... and at times they are frightening to say the least.... but knowing is half the battle. Our bodies are made up of energy and mater within it can get stuck just like any other plumping (pipes), therefore, you must get the bad energy moving or it will cause a back up in your physical body, hence the aches & pains you are now experiencing.....


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[patricia_48]

I was told by a councilor to write a letter to the little girl inside of me and tell her the grown up I am would take care of her and not let anyone hurt her ever again.I could tell her to share her pain with me and I would love and protect her.I felt better and when other things came back I would write another letter.I still need to do this but it helps put closure on it for me.