I really wasn't sure where to post this but I really need advice on this as this is stressing me out.

I started with a new therapist Thursday and she was asking about my childhood (not abuse) My mind is just blank I told her this I really can't remember just the abuse and my parents fighting and arguing most days,
She then said is to write down what I remember (good stuff) over the next week and to bring back to therapy on the 11th Feb. How can I do this if I don't remember? She wants a clear picture of what my childhood was like.

I have only been with one therapist and we done CBT so this is all new to me.

[Open Eyes]

((Buttercup))),

Can you remember fun trips and things you liked to do in school? I understand that what stands out to you are the big struggles but what about the holidays, halloween, thanksgivings, did you have siblings that you might have enjoyed playing games with.
What about learning to ride your bicycle, discovering music what trends were going on. I remember dancing around while listening to the Beatles, I was very young but I remember liking their music as my older sister was obsessed with them. I remember loving to drive around and see the multicolored lights adorning homes at Christmas time. Did you ever go ice skating or sledding?

Sometimes thinking about things like that can jog some good memories.

[beauflow]

my brother had a really hard time remembering some "good" times from childhood too..... always was told from him, remembers nothing but bad things.

I remember our cats that we had and some other things. I would share them with him. He remembered the cats too that i spoke of.

I know some times we would talk about things that were suppose to be fun but ended due to a true to soul accident occurred or they still had bad memories attached. like when the neighbor kids and him racing, and the little kid cut him off and my brother braked and flipped his bike.. he had to get stitches, and mom complained...

Some memories i had, my brother actually helped me out with-
like I have this very odd memory that there was a wall put up to close off a room in the old house, i must had been like 4 when this happened, and always thought "i am making this up".. No, I was not making it- My brother was shocked that i remembered such event - he let me know it was the pantry room that the house used to have, that was closed up, due to some reason.
I also remembered the wooden squirrels on the banister -- my brother remembered them too... us kids running around on the porch and stuff.

It may sound odd but he really remembered those things, but did not have a bad memory to them either.


What about school memories?

Some times i remember my 2nd grade teacher a lot- she was such a nice woman that cared.

It can be hard and I am not sure if you have some old photos, or someone you can talk to when you were little to try to help out a bit? Or like Open Eyes mentions, music has a deep connection to us some times.


Don't forget to takes breaks

[skeksi]

I went through something with T where I made a timeline of memories. At first it was all bad stuff, but after a while there was stuff that was good (or at the very least, not bad)--things like a school field trip, or going to see a movie with a friend's family. When I put those into the timeline I could see that my life was more than just the bad stuff I remembered so often. There was other stuff, too. I am more than the bad stuff that happened.

I found that when I was remembering, the good stuff floated in slowly--but the more not-bad stuff I remembered, the more "good" memories they triggered. So be patient with yourself. What needs to come will come.

Thanks for your input with this as this really has been stressing me out.

I have a week to do this, When I sit and think about this I do remember certain things but not a lot, You guys have made me think so thanks so much

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

I really wasn't sure where to post this but I really need advice on this as this is stressing me out.

I started with a new therapist Thursday and she was asking about my childhood (not abuse) My mind is just blank I told her this I really can't remember just the abuse and my parents fighting and arguing most days,
She then said is to write down what I remember (good stuff) over the next week and to bring back to therapy on the 11th Feb. How can I do this if I don't remember? She wants a clear picture of what my childhood was like.

I have only been with one therapist and we done CBT so this is all new to me.

maybe she was going on how you worded what you told her...if you told her the same statement you posted here..."I really can't remember just the abuse and my parents fighting and arguing most days,"

that tells a therapist you do remember abuse and parents fighting but its mixed up with good memories.

so the result of saying this statement to a therapist is ok dont worry about separating abuse from good memories, just write everything down and bring it on in at the next session.

I have a suggestion that worked for me when I didnt have any memories good or bad... my therapist had me sit down with a kitchen timer set at 5 minutes and write on a piece of paper the phrase I dont remember anything, all I can remember is...." that took the pressure off of the expectation of writing what was expected of me. I think I wrote that phrase over about 10-15 times and suddenly instead of starting the phrase over when I reached the word "is" a very small good memory got wrote on the paper.

maybe you can try this and see where it leads you. think of a generic phrase about not being able to remember anything and then write it over and over again until either a memory gets accidentally wrote down or the timer goes off.