[ster]

I have always had a problem being with people. I feel out of place and I go into myself It stems from my childhood just some highlights blood relitives never wanted me around if a get to geather If something was done or damaged I got blamed. My parents found this out I stayed right next to them His father came over and blamed me, they could tell it was not me as I sat right next to them. Next problem father tried to kill me 3 times first time was when he tried to stab me with a knife, the next time he tried with a pair of sissors, and 1 time he tried to run me over with his car.

I think my theripyst thinks I can just forget all of this and go one now as they happend when I was younger. I dont know if I can ever be able to relax in a group I just kind of just happens when I am in a group are around people. Has anyone had problems like this and been able to work through it. Sorry if this was long.

Yes ster, I have problems being around people,-- well mostly after I get to know them.

I've been thinking -- for those that have been traumatized by a parent, while a child(especially repeatedly)..... it seems that trust is then deficient or absent when that child grows up.

I'm so fearful that other people will see me and act towards me as my mother did and also some family members.... it's a struggle getting close to others.

I'm sorry your dad tried to kill you and also that your relatives blamed you when something went wrong.

Seems to me your therapist should allow you to feel and talk about it until you feel you are over it.

Well, to your inquiring about being able to work through the difficulty of being in groups or around people......... sorry I'm still trying to master that one too. I do think it has to do with self-esteem and being able to trust others and yourself (trusting yourself --meaning-- being able to cope with any reaction others may put out to you) -- not too sure though!

I think that reaching out here is a good start anyway!

Good day to you!

mandy

[(JD)]

If this is the same therapist that DXd you with PTSD, then surely he/she doesn't really think you can just pick up and move on. I hope that what the T wants for you is to be able to eventually pick up and move on.... any T worth their salt always wants the best for us

(((ster))) <---- safe hug Whatever we've gone through can weaken us initially maybe... but we can use what we learn ..to be strong imo.

[alisandria]

Can I ask, if it's not going over your boundaries, were any of the adults in your upbringing alcoholics?

I, myself, went through multiple traumas throughout each stage in life thus far. One part of which was my parents doing kind of the same things. My dad tried to hang me at one point, and my mom-well, she did some cruel things to me as well. I'm not going to delve deeper, but yep I can get what you all feel like.

I think one of the ways I have gotten through that stage (although I am still working on a few areas myself with this in different yet similar ways) is by building up my self-esteem (something by the sounds of it we all share in common wasn't done for us as children), and two-realizing people are just that-people. Everyone has their hidden little blurp, skeleton, ghost in the closet, what you will, right? That whole thing look at em in their undies never did it for me. Looking at someone and realizing they are human, and probably have a few (if not bunch) of insecurities or fears brings it all down to size for me. AND, oh yeah, I use humor to break the ice...especially when I have a brain fart, or make a snaffou-I joke it off, it works.

hugs, Lisa

[Evangelista]

((Ster)) people make me very nervous too IRL..but have found it easier online, less threatening, hope this is helping you too..take care...

[JustAPixie]

I'm not a people fan either... that's why I'd rather talk on PC. I rarely talk to other people and never go out to places where there will be a lot of other people. I go shopping at dawns light to avoid everyone. I thinks it's a normal symptom of abuse... I hope you can find a way to work through your issues, we are all here with you to help if you need it.

Tanya

[ster]

I think my T wants to try and do it with reality dealing with what is going on now and self talk to deal with it in a now area. She wants to know what triggers it but I dont know its all of a suddun i feel very out of place, and retreat into myself. even after 16 years in AA I still do not deal with the huging part. I think some people sence it and do not try to hug me. I had this for so many years I dont think its something I can do any time soon.

[JustAPixie]

Where did this whole hugging thing come from? Why do perfect stranger want to hug us? People who have been through trauma in their life need their personal space to feel safe. i don't hug people either. I think it's normal to be wary of physical contact and stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself.