[Fuzzybear]

If people think bad things about me.... any people, not here, ANY people.... I would much rather they said it to my face.... IF they give me a chance to reply. Then I would know how much of their perception of me is the "truth" and how much is their distortion (sigh)

I do know who I am. Someone can tell me a hundred times I am a "mean person" (not that they have) and I would know it is a lie or a distortion

I am also very good at spotting insincerity in others...... sometimes I wish I wasn't as this has caused me to fall out with some people. But again, if they walk away so easily, I do question if they were ever really friends. And then my trust issues kick in (SIGH) Sometimes I am TOO HONEST. Sometimes I was TOO TRUSTING... believing that someone really did care

I guess some people aren't able to deal with "mature" conflict resolution, or the attempt to do so.......they either hit and run..... or just run.

Very triggering stuff for me .... there aren't many words to describe it that can be used here. I KNOW what it feels like to me though

[(JD)]

You are right in many assessments. If what you were reacting to was a mass effort to disrupt you, fuzzy, then it would be worth worrying about...however, as is so common with PTSD, one person, one incident, just one something that triggers us makes us center all our feelings and thinkings...and even unconscious? on it.

Work hard to realize that the majority of ppl here at PC at least, like you
very much. I have to believe that's true IRL too.

This is a PTSD response.....automatic...now that it's in mind...work to counter it with truth. Over and over...retrain the brain you're a good bear.

[nothemama8]

Fuzzy, try to remember your okay it's the rest of the world that has the problem

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks (((((((((((( Sky ))))))))))))) and (((((((((((((( Angie ))))))))))))))

I can clearly see the distorted and/or blaming thinking in certain others (including stepmother)..... but still the PTSD response kicks in. Is there another harsh and equally descriptive word for feeling violated? For BEING violated? I do not think that one survivor patented that word I have been VIOLATED many times

ggggrrrrrr
Fuzzy

[hillbunnyb]

getting in touch with our core selves..... I find it impossible to deal with lying manipulative bullpoofull people. My reality needs "real" people who look at, work on, and clean up as best they can, after themselves. My system is hypersensitive in this arena. I would bet a jar of honey that you, my fuzzy friend, are of a similar nature........ ? am I correct?

[JustAPixie]

((((((((( fuzzy )))))))))

I agree with you, people should say what they want to to your face and not behind your back!!!

[Fuzzybear]

You are right, hillbunny..... and I don't understand people who repeat over and over again their twisted perception of the past And then run and don't even give me a proper chance to reply Maybe because they are insecure...... whatever, I am done with that ********. I am not going to listen, read, or reply, again. Ever. Never. Ever. I give people second, third chances. But eventually I give up on abusive people and walk away I give up on people who refuse to clear up THEIR messes.... when THEY triggered me, almost certainly deliberately, and then put ALL the blame on me.... for daring to react/defend myself. And for daring to misunderstand their confusing mixed messages. And for apologizing Pure ******** And it is NOT mine

)))))))) hillbunny ((((((((

[Fuzzybear]

thank you (((((((((((( Tanya ))))))))))))


Fuzzy

[woundedhearts]

[(JD)]

Fuzzybear, sweetheart, part of PTSD IS recounting the trauma over and over again, and if it's untreated (or in early stages of therapy) the person CAN'T seem to hear anything from anyone, the drama continues in their mind (maybe...in the brain! It's the brain's chemicals that became "squirrelled" somehow during the trauma.) I'm sure they don't mean to offend you, and maybe they don't realize they have (though you might have shared that with them.) Some times the brain prevents good thought in this area.

But you are still a good bear!

And it is NOT mine

[Fuzzybear]

woundedhearts, Sky, Petunia :

[mssumom]

((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))

Thinking of you with (((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))) and wish I could be as open and thoughtful on my posts, comments, picutures as you........you are an awesome bear!


Lori

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks so much hon!! ((((((((((((((( Lori )))))))))))))))