Confusing feelings

I started a new medication regima about a week ago. Still working out the kinks but along with the intense therapy and taking time off from work, I've been feeling a bit better.

And now I'm starting to doubt my own illness. Maybe I'm not really sick. Maybe I was just having a bad week (except 12 months is a really long week). Those suicide thoughts, they weren't real. ..it was just normal contemplating of life and death. ..

I'm fooling myself into thinking I'm normal. This is how I convinced myself to go off meds last year.

Does anyone else experience this? I'm going to talk to my T about it tomorrow. But I just wanted to know if others feel this sometimes.

It sort of makes me feel crazy.

Seesaw

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Talk to you therapist. The mind can wander and you can have all sorts of thoughts but the severity needs to be figured out and assessed. You also most likely have other issues that should be discussed from your past.

Well yes, I have many past issues, having grown up through a childhood of constant abuse. My T and I are slowly working through all the issues. But I don't get to see him everyday, which is why I come here for support and empathy.

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seesaw, you have taken a lot of stressors away, because of that you are not being triggered as much so you are not having as many cycles where you get overwhelmed. When the mind is not full of cortisol or adrenaline from a trigger or stress that is typically magnified in someone struggling with PTSD, it is normal to experience these thoughts of "hey, maybe I am not so bad, maybe I am ok because I feel ok again". Often this can also happen to where a person will think that they are ok and stop taking medication, when what they do not realize is that the medication may be what is helping them regulate the triggers that bring on the challenging PTSD cycles that can become crippling both physically and psychologically.

You have taken time out for your healing, time away from stressors that challenge the PTSD and that is why you are feeling better, but that is only because you are "away" from the stressors. That is actually why people who struggle with PTSD actually "avoid" anything that can bring on a trigger to where they get overwhelmed.

It is important that you follow through with this time out for working through the PTSD and your history, believe me, there will be times that you might get triggered in therapy, but can learn to use new tools to help you. Often in a period of seeking out help, individuals will take some time for DBT and CBT therapies in groups, these two therapies are very helpful in learning new tools to use to help you when you do go back into a work place around others that may trigger you. I recommend you look into seeing if these group therapies are available in your area too, you can also research them online and ask your T about them too.