[shabur]

The other night I woke up from a nightmare. It was about my childhood and college trauma and triggered my PTSD. I woke up confused - I wasn't sure I was awake - and I couldn't catch my breath.

After I realized I was awake my anxiety came flooding back. All the symptoms of how my anxiety presents itself were there. I haven't had this bad of an attack in years. I started taking Xanax every few hours shortly after it started to help get me through.

I almost called my pdoc because I wasn't "feeling safe" (pdoc's way of asking if I'm suicidal), but I feared she would put me in the hospital. I thought about going to my nephew's birthday party this past weekend and going to NYC for my niece and nephew's first holy communion this weekend, and I didn't want to miss either event. So I realized that, while there was a part of me that didn't feel safe, I wan't going to do anything drastic. I feel like sh**, but I haven't done any self injury.

This life SUCKS!!! But for loving my nieces and nephews so deeply, I don't know where I would be. I worry that at some point none of this will matter. It's happened before.

[Open Eyes]

((shabur)), I am so sorry you had a night terror that woke you up all confused, I get those too. I sleep with the TV on so when that happens the TV brings me into the here and now.

I know these episode are tough no matter when they happen, but they do ease up so remember to be patient. There was probably something going on during your day that triggered this to happen, so try to see if you can connect the dots. These night terrors will get weaker when you work through the things your mind tries to figure out in your dreams and wakes you up because your brain can't figure out what to do with what come up to be resolved.

(((Hugs))))
OE

[mikeysmom322]

My doctor put me on prozasin 6mg, it got rid of the nightmares but I still get these crazy dreams everynight, not nightmares though. I am going to talk to her about increasing my dose but I know it has a side effect of lowering your blood pressure if you are on a lot. It's something you should talk to your doctor about.

[mikeysmom322]

I hope you feel better and have a awesome time with your nieces and nephews.