[infoonptsd]

I will stop posting constantly soon, I promise. Just really trying to get some clarity.

Can you help try to provide clarity. I don't know what is normal for people in relation to emotions and feelings and what is not. I don't know if I am looking for 'feelings' that don't exist or that I simply don't feel.

People have talked about being emotionally numb but I didn't think at first that this applied to me because I feel like I am always about to burst into tears and often have to stop it and I laugh at tv and if someone says something funny.

But this week my T has had me pay attention to thoughts and feelings that happen at those spontaneous crying times and most times there is nothing I really feel except sad and like crying. There are thoughts, but and I could tell you what feeling would go with it, but I don't "feel" anything other then sad.

Do people in actually FEEL various emotions as a general rule or do all feelings really just have a happy and sad and people know how to label more then that based on what is going on in their thoughts?

I hope to heck that made sense!

[Teacake]

Im pretty side Its ok for you to post constantly If you want. I found your question really interesting. I think others will too. This is how we learn. Its how we teach anyone reading what trauma is.

Yeah. Emotions are all different. You have something wonderful to look forward to. . Sadness isnt all pain. It can be pleasant melancholy or poignancy or nostalgia or mourning or regret or a still and almost sacred emptiness. They all feel a little different. They feel physically different. So do contentment and hoy and bliss and cheeriness.

Best of all, when you dont have to be on guard against *that* whatwver *that* is for you, you can relax and meander along in a stream of feeling and emotion enjoying a sort of interior landscape.

Even the ones that break your heart are good.

Im glad you asked this question. My ride has been bumpy and I appreciate The reminder that recogerry, and life, are worthwhile.

Emoción are probably sweeter to ús because we have been deprived for so long.

[infoonptsd]

Thanks Teacake.
My 'that' my T thinks is from longterm childhood neglect followed by a situation with a trusted adult in the teen years. Since the childhood stuff was from a very young age, I don't have a reference to use to say that I 'lost' or 'numbed' emotions because I am not sure what should or should not be there. It is sort of like asking a person that just gained their eyesight from a surgery if they are seeing things correctly???? How would they know??
I have had a few episodes of what I called 'loosing it' and tried to get help for what I was told was just anxiety in the past, but this T believes it is PTSD. He is asking me questions that I am not sure how to answer. I thank you helping shed a little light. How do I answer whether my feelings feel numbed if I don't know what they SHOULD feel like? I know I want to cry A LOT (especially over the last few weeks as I started talking to him), but I know that is sadness, so there is a feeling/emotion..

Oh, it is SOOOO confusing. Thanks again for the feedback.

[Open Eyes]

If you "do" have PTSD, that feeling of wanting to cry is a common symptom. PTSD is, after all an injury and depending on an individual's personal history, there can be injuries that were just never properly comforted. People will give off cues of that too by how they apologize and share but feel like they are intruding somehow if they share. That is what you have said by promising to stop posting constantly. Well, that is what we all do here as members, we share our challenges and even ask questions, even vent anger and frustrations too. And as Teacake said, sometimes questions actually are helpful, get other members thinking and even realizing things about themselves that can actually be helpful.

If your T is asking questions you are not sure how to answer, that is ok, sometimes it takes time to come up with answers. Therapy is not a test or about being approved of or if you are even worthy of healing, you "are" worthy.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE

Originally Posted by infoonptsd

It is sort of like asking a person that just gained their eyesight from a surgery if they are seeing things correctly???? How would they know??

Do you all 'feel' something all the time or is a sensation that comes and goes?

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by lt12345

Do you all 'feel' something all the time or is a sensation that comes and goes?

I have long stretches of thinking without feeling. Its been my baseline state so i really notice now that Prozac lets me feel again. I have no idea what less damaged people feel, or If there is an always present emotion.

[hope156]

Hang in ther I used always question everything. Still do sometimes. My therapist says that in this context it is a good thing. It means that you are aware of your behavior. We are such complex beings. I have a friend who had many years of therapy and she cannot cry and when we talk that I cry a lot she said she wishes she could. I sometimes feel as you describe the best way I can understand it. Hang in there. It'x ok.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by lt12345

Do you all 'feel' something all the time or is a sensation that comes and goes?

I don't feel something all the time. My baseline is numb and withdrawn. When I do feel something it's usually negative.

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

People will give off cues of that too by how they apologize and share but feel like they are intruding somehow if they share. That is what you have said by promising to stop posting constantly.
OE

Is this from PTSD? I've been doing this with my T a lot. Today after he got back to my email, I emailed back apologizing for the "crazy-woman" emails I've been sending him and that he probably has better things to do with his time. I've been having a very hard time lately, but I literally feel ashamed of asking him for help and terrified I've become a pain in the *** for him. Then after sending that email I thought maybe he'd be mad at me for always apologizing. wtf.

infoonptsd: I've been on the verge of tears for a few days now and also feel numb, so I know what it's like.

[Open Eyes]

Yes SkyWhite, people with PTSD tend to utter "I am sorry" a lot even to themselves. It isn't just you, you need to finally just allow your emotions to come out and for some reason you have felt it is wrong. Therapy is also about letting things out and allowing yourself to express your trapped emotions so you can get a sense of relief.

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes SkyWhite, people with PTSD tend to utter "I am sorry" a lot even to themselves. It isn't just you, you need to finally just allow your emotions to come out and for some reason you have felt it is wrong. Therapy is also about letting things out and allowing yourself to express your trapped emotions so you can get a sense of relief.

Well, I'm from Canada and we tend to say sorry a lot. It's not a myth, we really do. If you step on our toes, we'll say sorry for getting in your way. LOL So, being a Canadian with PTSD I'm going to be saying sorry quite a bit.

[ChildlikeEmpress]

Hi infoonptsd, I think "normal" is a whole range of emotions, not just numb, happy, and sad. An infinite range, really.
I've had periods of "normal" where I feel neutral I suppose, neither happy nor sad but still feeling good, and can respond with a variety of other emotions as the day goes on. And I've had periods like I'm having currently where it's definitely numb/empty rather than neutral. Like, feeling nothing at all -- kind of a withdrawn state. But crying for no reason out of nowhere, so I get you on that.
Feeling numb might be a way you could be protecting yourself since you have PTSD? Kind of a shield.