If I were as crazy as the quack made me out to be ...

.... Could I have pulled "IT" off? Or even conceived it? If I were this quivering mess of unstable emotions could I have done the months of planning "IT" took? Coordinated everything, down to the last detail to ensure "IT" was flawlessly executed? Timed "IT" out to the last minute, and ensured all went to plan? Looked sharp, felt great, and received nothing but compliments and praise from everyone after "IT" was over????

I think not!!! The quack had me convinced I was this hopeless basket case who would come to a bad end.

I think not. F you, you miserable be otch.

I'm back baby, I'm back.

'IT" was a surprise 90 the birthday party for my mom with basically my entire family there - and it went great and everyone got along and had a wonderful time - like a real family . My mom was a bit suspicious the last few days, after the fact she said it occurred to her something like that was up and she said she wasn't very surprised when she walked into the banquet room at the restaurant and saw everyone and all of the decorations and the cake etc.

I feel very vindicated - I won't deny that I have mental health issues but I no longer fear that concept nearly so much. Things like this do make me realize I am still completely real-world functional and knowing I did most of the planning back in the summer when I was pretty depressed tells me I can work with this thing and not let it get the best of me.

Yep, we can do it. We can live with this and continue on. You have pulled off what sounds like a successful party for your Mum...that is great Johnny.

I pulled off a whole year of academic study, finished up with mostly A's (I know not how!) and one or 2 new and kind friends. Without going completely barmy!

We can manage our lives, and in fact thrive if we keep looking forward. Doesn't mean there won't be really tough time along the road.....but it can be done, and eventually done well.

Nice work Johnny!

Congratulations, much effort, lots to go wrong but you did 'IT'. I suppose the question must that as well as you did 'IT' could you have done it even better if you had less MI?

Ditto, Jane. When you decided to go back you had a lot of self-doubt and I know a lot of very hard moments along the way, but I never had any doubt in my mind, "knowing" you pretty well online now, that you could get through it and do well. So congrats to you, too.

The hardest part for me was the emotional part of dealing with the family quirks and personalities as well as the practical logistics of time factors for relatives from out of town. It was a little dicey, and a couple of times I almost pulled the plug on it, but calmed down and got through it and am now glad I did.

Nope - not really from a real-world logistical standpoint - cake food settings flowers music etc were all great and I was really happy with that outcome. Yes I could have done with less anxiety and worry over what so and so would think and a couple of times I said "why did I do this" but I go through it. Now I can look back and say those issues were questions of self confidence related to poor self image because of past events and labels and so forth and I really feel like I learned that I am in the drivers seat of my life a lot more than I thought I was.

Sounds normal to me - I doubt you are crazy.