[Alishia88]

I have not been here in a long time I think 6 months or so, because I have been feeling a lot better lately. I have been feeling that I might want to go back to school/work which is a very good progress for me. Feeling that I "want" to not that I "have to". I feel more motivated and powerful.

What is really holding me back are sleep problems I get quickly and easily.

The problem is that a) I am quickly and easily inhibited from sleep and b) when I do, it´s not like with ordinary people who are just "tired" I tend to be "Miserable" with not enough sleep. I feel that much unstable, depressed, tired and head-achy, not just that my head hurts it´s an annoying, nagging stressful pain behind my forehead also in my eyes. When that happens to me, it´s not like with ordinary people who can sleep very well the next night, but the opposite. When I had a tired day, I feel like my brain is in so much stress and strain from trying to stay up all day, it cannot shut down the next night either. And I get a lot of anxiety from that. The worst time for me in my life was when I was deprived of sleep.

The really bad thing is that sometimes knowing that I have to get up early or just having an alarm, even when it´s a not so early one, is enough to not let me sleep because I worry that I can´t but feel that I must and that puts me under a lot of stress. I used to never have that because I always "knew" that even when I had a hard time, I´d always fall asleep after a few hours, never just in the morning, though.

Now the huge problem for me with moving on is that most things, work and school start in the morning every day.
Only setting an alarm on "one" day a week sets me under stress though.

It´s not like I can force myself to do it either, because as I said when I can´t sleep or not enough, I´m not just "tired" I am miserable and I can´t concentrate or feel well at all and can´t sleep the next night well either. So it´s basically setting me up for mental breakdown, which not exaggerated, really happens to me when I am deprived of sleep for too long.

Should I then go to a psychiatrist for medication? does this it even work?
Or is all of this a sign that I am not as well as I think I am or would like to be?

Thank you for your help

[sideblinded]

I have bad insomnia and if I don't take sleep meds at the same time every night, I will not go to sleep at a decent hour. I have delayed sleep phase disorder. So I have found it less stressful to take sleep meds so I can have a rather normal schedule. Yes, meds do work for most people. You could just be having a sleep disorder and it could be a number of things like sleep apnea. Only your doctor would be able to help you with your sleep issues. You are the best judge about how you are feeling so if you feel strong enough to tackle new opportunities and sleep is in your way, I would think that getting your sleep regulated would help you overall achieve your goals. A pdoc or maybe your regular doctor could help but a pdoc might be the better one to go to. Best wishes with your goals.

[Alishia88]

thank you for writing to me, sideblinded.

Yes, well, I feel like trouble with sleep is definitely very inhibiting for me, but I am not sure if this is just some sort of "general anxiety" or sensitivity that is inside of me and needs work. In general, during the day, I am not really bothered by anxiety that much anymore, just in specific situations (conflict, therapy, phone calls etc) I just don´t know. I have done therapy for more than 2 years now, so as I feel generally able to move forward but sleep still being a problem, I started to think about it. I think i´d still be anxious about it, but I would be willing to take the jump. But only if I sleep doesn´t get in the way.
I must say though, that during a vacation in a very "calm!" environment I sleep much much better....

Originally Posted by sideblinded

I have bad insomnia and if I don't take sleep meds at the same time every night, I will not go to sleep at a decent hour. I have delayed sleep phase disorder. So I have found it less stressful to take sleep meds so I can have a rather normal schedule. Yes, meds do work for most people. You could just be having a sleep disorder and it could be a number of things like sleep apnea. Only your doctor would be able to help you with your sleep issues. You are the best judge about how you are feeling so if you feel strong enough to tackle new opportunities and sleep is in your way, I would think that getting your sleep regulated would help you overall achieve your goals. A pdoc or maybe your regular doctor could help but a pdoc might be the better one to go to. Best wishes with your goals.

melatonin helps me sleep. Zopiclone is a medication that can be a quick fix for insomnia... it's very effective.

google 'sleep hygiene' too. it really helps me get to sleep. so do sleep apps.

[mouni]

Go to sleep when you're really tired. Trouble falling sleep just leads to frustration. If after 20 minutes you are not asleep, get out of bed, go into another room, and relax a little like reading or listening to music, until you are tired enough to sleep are doing.

[Alishia88]

Originally Posted by mouni

Go to sleep when you're really tired. Trouble falling sleep just leads to frustration. If after 20 minutes you are not asleep, get out of bed, go into another room, and relax a little like reading or listening to music, until you are tired enough to sleep are doing.

when I have a lot of trouble, often nothing helps, getting up, staying in bed it doesn´t matter.... I can be totally tired and yet I won´t sleep. It´s very frustrating...


And about the meds... thank you for telling me. Do they make you addictive though?

[TimTheEnchanter]

Alishia, I feel with you. I am similar...but keep in mind that when and if you work, you will tire yourself out and that actually helps with sleep. I still work part time and often I just want to quit, I too have insomnia at times and the next day I have to go in and perform my job duties and that at times sucks. I am irritable, make mistakes and feel very vulnerable. But it is great to have someplace to go and I get paid (quite nicely). Keep the courage and you can do this!

[Alishia88]

Thank you KinkyGuy I dance so I tire myself out one way or the other. But I am past the point where I just want to "push myself through" somehow. I want to feel well and enjoy what I do, I don´t want to go "against me". Not anymore. I have been through all of that and I am looking for a balanced and healthy way.
Bad sleeplessness actually occured the first time for me when I was still very busy and had lots of things on my plate with school and work. It was the reason I needed to stop because I´d have "killed" myself otherwise.

If I will go back, I want to feel good doing it, not harm myself.

zopiclone can cause dependence. melatonin can't.

[Alishia88]

I think I may ask my doctor about it or look for a psychiatrist rightaway.

should I tell my therapist or "ask" her if it´s okay before I do it, do you think?
I think it is kind of my decision but.... maybe

[Titilia]

I have chronic sleep issues. I've been awake for days at a time before, and it feels like torture when that happens. My ability to regulate sleep is gone, I don't sleep unless I use something. I've exhausted all the natural sleep aids like melatonin, valerian, kava, 5htp, etc. I use essential oils of lavendar, I dim the lights, I play ocean waves in the background, and I exercise, and make sure I have structure and routines in place...and while all those things used to work, they don't anymore. I'm using a prescriptin medication, for the first time in my life, called Trazadone, and it's helping me fall asleep, and stay asleep. I'm using 25mg at bed time, I wake up slightly cloudy, but I'm okay after an hour or so. I have managed my symptoms naturally for years, but am no longer able to do it that way...so I gave in to meds. So far I'm up to 6 hours of sleep a night.

[Fuzzybear]