PTSD Related

I was recently assualted by a male friend and the day after it happened I became very paranoid and started hallucinating again. It's been so long since I've dealt with this, that it's causing a lot of stress.

The first 3 days after the assault I watched every car go by, and I kept hearing men talking and saw reflections of men in the windows. I slept with my lights on...all of them! Then it just got so bad I had to be admitted into the hospital. I was there for 10 days.

They had started me on new meds the day before I went home. I found out I was allergic to the one med so I quit taking it (the doctor ok'd that I stop taking it) and started on Cogentin. I had been on it before with no problems, but at a higher dose than before. I started getting all kinds of unpleasant side effects. I cut my dosage in half and it seems to be better. On the higher dosage I was hallucination (auditory and visual) and there haven't been near the side effects as I was having.

I am afraid to go out in public without my dad at the moment...I'm afraid I'll see the "friend" in public. Half the time I feel like I'm going crazy with the way my meds have been affecting me.

I started trancing again...not good. Recently my behavior has been odd...Like one night I opened my dad's pill bottle and attemted to take one of his pills. The odd thing is that I don't remember this...I thought I dreamed it...but I saw the pill in the kitchen after I woke up the next morning...realizing it wasn't a dream. Another time I went to re-wet my contacts...instead of grabbing my solution I grabbed a bottle of pop...opened it and poured it over my face. I really don't know what's happened to me.

Lexi, do you have a victums (sp) abuse number you can call, you need to report this person, he is NO friend if he assulted you.
Does your Dad know what happened?

Yes, my dad knows. He wanted me to call the police too. I haven't...I don't want to report it because the last time I turned this kind of thing in, I was made out to be the bad guy and got charged in the process...let's not go there. I just think they wouldn't believe me.

How terrible for you. I hope that you are able to find someone to talk to about this. Imho, an abuse helpline could be a definite way to go. You need to protect others from this person.

Support and hugs are being sent your way,

lemmkins

You are obviously overwhelmed. I'm sorry that you've encountered such events. I hope you feel very safe when out with your dad, as the more you can do that the easier it will be. You need some good stuff in your life. Dissociating isn't something you can do much about right now, as it's your way to cope with what you are feeling.

Keep telling yourself, while at home, that you are safe now. And when you are out with your dad, do the same, say to yourself, I am safe. It will take many good things to overcome the bad, but you can do it: your mind can do it.

I hope you feel and do better sooner rather than later.

While in the hospital, the doctor told me I shouldn't have invited a married man into my home unless his wife was with him. Aside from that, he said I needed to understand men more...I was so crushed at what this psychiatrist was saying to me (I won't go into what I said in response).

I just lost all reason to turn my "friend" into the police...