[finding_my_way]

my flashbacks seem to be a lot more emotion and more body memories, i guess. i was wondering if anyone else experiences more of that than feeling like they are back at the event and seeing it.

i struggle with dissociation too, so sometimes it gets very confusing so i don't know what is what, a flashback of some type or dissociation or maybe mixed. i tend to become very afraid out of nowhere and have no actual triggers a lot of the time (except stress is a big one).

i always thought flashbacks had to be purely like you were reliving an event but realized they can also be emotion/body based yet not be able to really connect it to an event (for me i do not remember a lot of trauma due to dissociation).

[kaliope]

i a lot of time just experience the emotion and have to determine from that what i could have possibly experienced to make me feel that way. i hope that you are working with a trauma based therapist to help you thru this. i spent a lot of time working with a t that didnt address what was going on and i only got worse.

[finding_my_way]

i have not done trauma therapy just cuz of my dissociation and there is such a wall up and i would shut down and have more dissociation. i am having an increase the last few months because of a lot of change in life and stress though and seeing my psychiatrist more often.

i am hoping one day i can do actual therapy before she retires because like you i have tried to figure out what event(s) have caused what..but because there is so much i don't remember, it's almost impossible to do that in order to process them.

i recently had a new kind of memory/flashback, but it was so far away and so strange that i am not sure if it was real or my brain trying to connect my reaction to something so just kind of put something in my head.

[Rainydaiz]

My only flashback was a feeling of absolute terror and me screaming please god no. I didn't understand what had happened. It left me very confused afterwards. More recently I had a similar episode where I regressed into my child self. I was very scared but not as terrified as the flashback. I have no memory of any trauma. I don't know what either was about really. The first one had a very obvious trigger, the second not so obvious.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by Rainydaiz

My only flashback was a feeling of absolute terror and me screaming please god no. I didn't understand what had happened. It left me very confused afterwards. More recently I had a similar episode where I regressed into my child self. I was very scared but not as terrified as the flashback. I have no memory of any trauma. I don't know what either was about really. The first one had a very obvious trigger, the second not so obvious.

yeah. i think that is what happens to me more than anything. i don't always know the difference at times between what is a dissociative state/episode or a flashback since i think it is mixed.

i do have bits and pieces of trauma memories of different things though...befores and afters of things...so it's bizarre to me.

[Rainydaiz]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

yeah. i think that is what happens to me more than anything. i don't always know the difference at times between what is a dissociative state/episode or a flashback since i think it is mixed.

i do have bits and pieces of trauma memories of different things though...befores and afters of things...so it's bizarre to me.

Yes it's bizarre to me too. I wish I knew what my trauma was about. I'm only just showing signs of having had trauma as I've been shut down for years. I guess more will come up for me soon. Wishing you well.