[SALLY MARIE]

Coming off all my med, months of being told by my PCP he would get me in with a med Dr have fallen through the cracks. I'm done

[berthegel]

Hello , how do mean your done ?

[Open Eyes]

((SALLY MARIE)), you have been trying very hard, keep bugging whoever you need to so you can get the medications you need.

When you feel down and say "I am done", it's ok for that day or moment, but that feeling "will pass", keep reaching out. I had such a horrible day on Monday, that is all I could say myself "I am done", and I just wanted to crawl in my bed and not think, so I know that feeling. Gotta keep trying though, you "can" move forward, but yeah, I know how it feels when efforts to reach out seem to fail.

((Hugs))

[SALLY MARIE]

Originally Posted by berthegel

Hello , how do mean your done ?

I'm done with all of it, done trying, done with meds, done going to anyone.

[SALLY MARIE]

Thanks OE but any desire is gone, any trust is gone. Im tired.

[rewire]

I can relate. It has been such a struggle. But please don't ever give up.

[Open Eyes]

Oh ((SALLY)) I do know that feeling, I have experienced it myself. You need to take a break, I have had to do that myself as well. I really can relate about "trust", me too.

(((Caring Understanding Hugs)))
OE

[SALLY MARIE]

Just so tired of this.

[Open Eyes]

Oh, I know just how you feel, have hit those deep PTSD lows myself. That is when I feel the lonliest because it isn't something one can just call a friend about and get the kind of support so much needed, a "I hear you me too", is so elusive yet so needed.

The "only" medication I take myself, and only when I get so low I am in physical pain and really just need to shut down, is Klonopin. I don't take it unless I am not doing well at all managing the symptoms and ofcourse my family is not helping but only adding to it, my husband can do that as he can be controlling and absorbs and pretty much does all the wrong things which just makes me even worse. However, what I have noticed is that when I "do" take it and get that much needed break, I realize how much the anxiety/stress has been such a culprit to me becoming that bad. So, I try to again do better at managing it, with an understanding that I do have to be "more" patient with myself, and yes, that can be hard work, something the average person simply doesn't understand.

What else is going on in your life Sally, anything you can vent, so you can get support with it from others who understand the challenge?

((Hugs))
OE

It takes time for a person to figure out what does "help", from what I have read everyone is a little different, some actually do better without medications. That is what I have been doing, but as I mentioned, keep some Klonopin handy in case I have a really bad cycle that I can't work my way out of.

You do need to make a pest of yourself with these healthcare people, sadly they do get overloaded and it "is" easy to fall through the cracks.

[Open Eyes]

Sally,

I found this information about the medications used to treat PTSD. As I have mentioned, the only one I use, and only when I am really struggling badly is the Klonopin, I personally don't recommend using it constantly.

Another thing you may want to look into is finding GABA at a health food store, that "may" help as that is thought to be "lacking" in those who struggle with PTSD. It is better to try it when you are "not" on any medications. It may be helpful for you to look into while you are in limbo, maybe it will "help".

Clinician's Guide to Medications for PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD

[SALLY MARIE]

IDK OE. These people were my support and they screwed up. I'm not very trusting to begin with. My family is dysfunctional and unsupportive and I think about leaving my husband all the time. I'm at a loss.

[1946dogface]

Originally Posted by SALLY MARIE

Coming off all my med, months of being told by my PCP he would get me in with a med Dr have fallen through the cracks. I'm done

I am done also.

I am a disabled vet from the Vietnam time. Life is very hard for me. Very tired of being here. My wife and I live in different worlds. We are going to a marriage counselor at the VA. I take a lot of meds from them. Everything I do is wrong. Really I am the wrong person to talk to. Siting here watching Baseball. wish I would die. I am a very bad person.

[Open Eyes]

Oh ((SALLY)), I know what you mean, it's very hard when people around you are dysfunctional in some way, and often a husband can be a trigger too, because they tend to say all the wrong things. Often the individual with the PTSD had been the strong one in the mix so people around them can begin to resent how they are challenged and become very dismissive too. I have experienced that big time myself, and when that happens there is a desire to retreat and hide under the covers or run away.

It is very "lonely" challenge, believe me I have wept a lot about that fact. Other than my T, and being able to come to PC, I don't have anyone I can call and just talk to that can relate and be supportive. It really "is" important to stay connected to a therapist that "does" get it so you can vent, and also come here, but try to find other support too.

One day not too long ago I was so bad my husband called 211 and I talked to a very nice woman on the phone, she was very validating and it helped me slowly calm down as I was really crying and lost. I said to her, "this is so damn lonely", and she validated that, it was so nice to hear a kind voice. I don't know if that number works for where you are too, you could always try it and see, I only have used it once, but I like knowing it's there if I need it.

Wanting to take a time out and get away is a very common desire with PTSD. That decreases with time and good therapy, I can't say it goes away completely, have not gotten there myself. It is sometimes hard to "just" be in the now, it takes time for a person to slowly learn "how to gradually be more in the now" too. When I am triggered or cycling, I am not in the "now" and it's very hard for me to think and do tasks when I am like that too. I have learned to be patient with it when that happens. My husband "can" trigger me out of the now too. I have had a very challenged history with him so at times "yes" he can trigger me "out of the now", I can't say enough "patience".

((Hugs))
OE

I'm sorry you're hurting.

[SALLY MARIE]

I'm the same way OE. I don't talk to otheres about my stuff. I don't think they reall get it. I stopped seeing my Psyd in November. I felt I was just repeating stuff. I liked him so I know it was me . There's just something wrong and I can't move on.