Awareness

I never realized what PTSD was until this past year. I could never understand why at times without rational thinking i would just freak out or stress out... i would get angry and not mean to to different ones. It was people were triggering the things of memories that brought up old issues of traumas i had lived. I have buried so much for years that it is finally surfacing in layers, upon layers. I finally can better understand myself now, why i am guarded distrusting and so reserved. It is a culmination of things... of so much i have suffered it seems like and endless litany. Yet i now see light at the end of the tunnel. I have an elderly couple that he is PTSD and she is BPD. They have shown me the other side of living and how he gets so upset and reminds me of how i was and letting others upset me so. I am learning how to deal with others.
It is a lot when self realization hits you, how others rub you the wrong way for no reason and vice versa. I took a break and am back now.. not intentionally but it worked out that way. I have learned to live the words: to thine own self be true, first and foremost... ty for reading.

Yeah, PTSD is its own kind of beast. There will be good days and bad but when you find out that you're not just a lunatic who's a hair trigger away from exploding and it's an actual illness, it can help. Helps you to take charge and figure out what your triggers are and map out a plan to begin the healing process. Things won't be easy but there's hope. Best of luck.

I was in the same situation. I couldn't understand why I was acting out, or shutting down both making me incredibly irritable and angry. Its hard to identify triggers when its all new but as stated above PTSD is a beast....but what i've learned is that it is a beast that can be tamed. Work hard and you WILL find healing. combat the anger combat the rage and stay strong.