Why did I wait so many years to tell what he did to me. When I was tramatized once again by someone there to help why did I once again keep it inside. Someone please get this crap out of my head. Brain surgery or something. Make these horrible memmories go away. All because of a trigger. One little trigger so much pain and anxiety.

I wish I had answers... I can offer you lots of care...
I am so sorry you are hurting right now...

[frogysgirl]

I feel your pain. I wish I could be there just to hold you. HANG ON! Know that we're here for you!

(((Frogysgirl & freewill)))
Thank you so much for being here

[Juli]

Twirls,

I don't think we can tell the trauma until we can tell the trauma. Please don't beat yourself up about it. When we have been traumatized or abused it can take a great deal of trust before we can show that vulnerablity to someone to help us. I have struggled with the same and only recently shared with my T my 'big secret'. It kills me to have done it and yet I know that is is important to my healing to work on it or it would not have been so important to protect it. Protect myself from talking about it and showing it.

Please be gentle with yourself and show yourself kindness. This is difficult stuff and sometime it needs to be worked through a bit at a time or it can overwhelm us. That is my experience anyway.

I'm so sorry for your pain. And I'm so glad you shared it now so you can get busy on it.

Hugs,

Juli

[obsids]

Don't beat yourself up for holding the details in. It is all about feeling safe. It took 12 years before I could even start articulating some of the crap that I went through. There are still details that I hold inside and can't describe to anyone... just because it is too scary to even think of them, let alone talk about it.

Over the years, I have told my story to my husband, my therapist, and my pdoc.... every time I tell my stories, it gets a little less difficult to accept, a little safer to add in more of the details.