[Juli]

Hi,

I'm a new member. I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD and today is a very difficult day for me for a variety of reasons. I have been googling my fingers off and my anxiety is off the charts. I did find this place and I hope to read, learn and get support.

There is an issue I have that I have not been able to find information on and I am wondering if anyone here has experienced it or could direct me to resources. I am avoiding sleeping. I have been doing this for some time and I am having a very difficult time managing myself around the problem. I see a T regularly and I have been given prescriptions to help me to fall asleep. BUT - the issue is that I do not want to sleep and I avoid it at all costs. So even though I have the sleep aid in my hand I do not take it.

Recently I have stopped sleeping under the covers of my bed or I fall asleep on top of the covers facing the bottom of the bed. So, what happens is that when I go to bed I turn on the TV and do not sleep until the wee hours and my exhaustion takes over. Of course this is causing problems with concentration and focus in waking hours.

Is this a part of my PTSD? Is avoiding sleep common? How have others FORCED themselves to just get beyond the resistance and use the tools given?

It is so frustrating because of course, I know what I should do. I should go to bed w/ the TV off, at a decent hour, take my sleep aid and ~ MAKE PROGRESS. But I am finding it impossible to do so.

Anyone else experienced this?

Thanks for any help you can provide.

Juli

I avoid sleeping at nights. My trauma had occurred during the hours between 6 pm until about 11 am. My mind could even override the effects of the sleep medications. It happens to me because of fear. Possibly why your avoiding taking the medications. Make the place where you sleep a safe environment. Get an alarm system if need be. Until I was able to conquer the fear I couldn't sleep no matter what until exhaustion took over.

Hope this has helped.

I also avoid sleep at all costs.. and my DX is PTSD..I have the meds too.. but I go thru very long periods of time where I just refuse to take them.. I sleep side ways on my bed sometimes... lol.. but not funny I guess..

I wish I could offer you answers.. I have none.. only understanding... my old T used to call it a sleep phobia.. and I guess she is right...

[heyjoe]

Juli, you could have been describing me. I do the exact same things. I avoid sleep until i am too tired not to sleep, leave the tv on and dont take anything. I just dont want to go to sleep. I think it is a part of ptsd. Every night i am the only one left up here and like the solitude. If i didnt have to get up in the morning i would never go to bed before 5.

[sunrise]

Juli, I went through a period of depression where I avoided sleep at all costs. I would stay up late every night doing everything I could to occupy myself until I was falling asleep standing up or working on my computer. I would sleep from about 3-6 am every night and be exhausted the next day. The lack of sleep further compounded my depression. It's a bad cycle. I had no prescribed drugs to take and not sure I would have anyway. I started working with a CBT counselor on my depression and just about the very first thing we worked on was sleep. Just kept chipping away at it and little by little I was able to take some sleep back. I found that grabbing a few minutes here and there during the day really helped. It was easier for me to nap for 30 minutes in the day than to get an extra 30 minutes at night. I gradually built up my total sleep and have been at 5-6 hours per night for close to a year now and only occasionally nap during the day. I consider that "good enough" to get by. My brain and memory function much better now that I get more sleep.

Maybe seeing a therapist for help with the sleep problem would give you some new ideas for solving it. (Although I did have some trauma, I don't believe this was linked to my sleep avoidance.)

[(JD)]

imo anyone with PTSD has an issue with sleep. A trauma doesn't have to happen at night for this to occur. Perhaps it's just the general idea of being unsafe that prevents nighttime sleep? Some ptsd'ers find they can sleep in the day quite well.

I would like to add... for me.. it is knowing that I will have "wake-up" screaming nightmares.. if I fall alseep without meds.. and be trapped in sleep in my nightmares if I take meds..

Soo.. I wish my body.. could just not need sleep.. ever..

[Juli]

Thank you all for your thoughtful and helpful replies. It is so good to know I'm not alone in this issue.

I had the chance to attend chat last night and although I've given lots of thought to the WHYs of this for some time, I could not really figure out why this was happening NOW. I have exited from my abusive marriage for approximately 2 years and been working through things. Why now?

So, the comment I finally seemed to hear when it was mentioned last night was that sleep = vulnerability and perhaps I was not comfortable or feeling safe enough to allow myself the vulnerability of sleep.

I have probably had that suggested before, but last night for some reason I got that !PING! when I heard it.

I think this started right around the time my ex moved in down the street. He is now so close that I have connected my anxiety peaking in many ways but I didn't realize that it was impacting my feeling of safety in the walls of my own home.

My son has been sleeping with a knife under his pillow lately and I have wondered about that but didn't put the two anxieties together to perhaps connect his recent need for 'protection' and mine when resisting the vulnerablity of sleep.

I think this may be an answer.

Thanks so much to everyone.

Juli

And.. here I am still not asleep... in the am... I am glad that things are connecting for you..
I know that it was several years after my divorce before I stopped sleeping with a knife under my pillow..so I can really relate to your son.. letting go.. enough to sleep,, is another factor...

[obsids]

I am a total insomniac. I have always been that way. I think it is an acute aversion to dreaming. My dreams are always vivid and disturbing. My PTSD dreams are absolute horror, and I relive all the trauma nearly every night.

My Pdoc put me on Temazepam to help me sleep through a complete sleep cycle, rather than dozing and waking throughout the night from nightmares. I take Prazosin to reduce my physical reaction to my dreams. It has made a big difference. Prazosin, by the way, is an alpha-blocker that is commonly used to treat high blood pressure, but it also helps with PTSD.