[LostOnTheTrail]

Hi, all.

I hope you're well. I've just started a three week break with my counsellor, and this has sprung to mind. I've realised that I can narrate the details of my trauma, and the emotion is most definitely there, but I can't get that out.

So far, R has suggested art therapy and the empty chair technique to begin externalising some of that stuff, but it's hard to know that it's there and yet not be able to get at it.

If you've also experienced this 'defence mechanism', how do you break through it?

Thanks,

Lost

[Christina86]

Honestly? For me, I broke through to feeling the emotions when I was horribly triggered in therapy. I do not recommend it! Generally, therapists like to wait until you're comfortable enough to express your emotions.

Could you try journalling? There are a lot of different types of therapeutic techniques out there as well...

[leomama]

I completed this go round of therapy a couple of weeks ago.

The biggest thing my therapist wanted me to do was move on and enjoy life.

She told me when I get caught up in my feelings about the past to move on. She also said to acknowledge them and to bring myself back to the present moment. She said to use them as a gauge for self care.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks, leomama.

There seems to be a barrier between me and truly being in the present moment right now. My nights are incredibly taxing, because the memories come out of nowhere, and it takes a supreme effort to keep them at arms' length during the day, which is effort I cannot afford to expend 24 hours a day.

The details rattle around my head at a frightening pace, and yet when I come to discuss them, I come up empty...speaking it makes it real again.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Thanks, leomama.

There seems to be a barrier between me and truly being in the present moment right now. My nights are incredibly taxing, because the memories come out of nowhere, and it takes a supreme effort to keep them at arms' length during the day, which is effort I cannot afford to expend 24 hours a day.

The details rattle around my head at a frightening pace, and yet when I come to discuss them, I come up empty...speaking it makes it real again.

I'm sorry . That sounds sad. Have you tried aromatherapy To help you sleep?

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks. I tried an aromatherapy roll-on wrist thing (can't think of the proper word) for a while, and I take evening primrose oil, but the brain keeps going. Writing it out leaves me in that place where it's all raw.

[leomama]

I meant a diffuser.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Thanks. I tried an aromatherapy roll-on wrist thing (can't think of the proper word) for a while, and I take evening primrose oil, but the brain keeps going. Writing it out leaves me in that place where it's all raw.

Also if writing it out isn't working for you, why are you doing it?

[LostOnTheTrail]

Sorry, I wasn't entirely clear. I journal about my thoughts and feelings surrounding the experience, but haven't spent a great deal of time writing about the explicit details, because that leaves me with the sensation of feeling wrung out, raw and vulnerable.