How do people with PTSD remind themselves that the here and now are not the past when we experienced our trauma(s)?

PTSD is something I've had for years but it only cropped up after major depressive episodes were taken care of med wise and therapy opened up a safe space to be in.

I used to live in a triggered state frequently when I couldn't tell I was in here and now. I used to lash out with such venom at any available target.......usually well intentioned people wanting to help. I sure bit a ton of heads off of innocent people!!

I still get lost at times with being able to distinguish then and now.

I've also learned that when I got in touch with the core anger at first it nearly killed me in its intensity. WIth the help of many therapists over the years I chipped away at than anger. At first I didn't understand why there was so much so deep and why it was so natural to go to anger instead of another emotion.

None of this work was easy nor is it by any means complete.

My traumas are not resolved and the therapeutic work I do is very intensely focused on the emerging material now.

I still am angry at what occurred in my life and how immediately following the attacks the very people (hospital staff of adolescent psych ward) who SHOULD have helped me did not.

It is beyond anything that I can do anything legal about. I sure wish I could sue the hospital and doctors but I can't.

That being the case I work on what I am able to do and control. I am able to go to my pdoc and therapist for help in surviving until I'm strong enough again to tackle the intense work. Right now is a period of backing off the focused work and learning my body and mind need rest and replenishment. I lost the ability to care for myself and am not happy about having to receive so much assistance (think bitter in fact!!) but I can now see that this is a situation that isn't in my control or ability to control.

Once that realization was made it helped me better understand that when I released my need to control the situation I often felt so much less angry. I realized my need to control came about from how out of control things were when I was attacked and subsequently re-hospitalized. I was living my life controlling it so that what happened back then would never ever ever happen again.

Guess what? Buddha and Jaweh both giggle at me with my thinking I can control it all. I now look to them a bit more to help me remember what was then and what is now.

How do you all handle this?

<font color=purple> --zh </font color=purple>

[dalila]

I talk to myself about where I physically am and that those persons are not around any more. I saw someone say they looked at their hands and recognized they are the hands of an adult. I have tried that but when I am deeply into a PTSD episode my hands look like my abuser's hands. I have a beany baby bear that I pick up sometimes and I find it helps to ground me to the here and now. I have also found I can sometimes stop a flashback during the beginning by telling myself, "I am not dealing with this now. I will deal with it with my therapist." Just be sure you do deal with it there.

Hugs,
dalila

[Butterfly_Faerie]

What I did and what my turning point was to letting go, and not becoming stuck with the past is to say one sentence.

I regret that this happened to me. Instead of saying it's my fault this happened, I'm to blame for what happened, if I did this differently or said something differently it wouldn't have happen. Saying you regret it frees you from thinking that way.

That was my major turning point, after doing that and literalyl saying it outloud I was able to let go of it all the shame, guilt, fear and blame.

I never thought it would work, but it did.

Also time helps heal as well, the mroe you talk about it and get it out, learn how to cope with PTSD and the past the easier it does get. I used to be plauged with PTSD 4 months ago dealing with triggers all the time, flashbacks in the form of body memories, nightmares, thoughts that would not going away of someone hurting me.

But i'm free now, after 8 years.

Stuff still comes up from time to time, but that will be something that i'll take care of when it happens. Triggers are something that I might have forever, but I'm ok with that now because I know i'm in safe place, that those 9 people cannot hurt me anymore.

Depressive episodes can defintly help bring on PTSD, when your mood drops you start to think, that's part of depression, I deal with that as well since I have clinical depression and seasonal affective disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder.

When stuff like that happens you got to pretty much try and cut it off at the source, end that negative thought pattern but saying stop, cut, I'm ok, I'm safe. Even if you do not say it out loud, just in your head it helps. Another thing that helps me is writting. I can purge out all the negative and I do feel better.

I can understand the control thing, I wanted it back, and by doing what I did with the regret thing I was in control again.

Take care of yourself.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

FYI - I just checked. Still got my head.

Sounds like you are doing a lot of hard work. I hope you are doing well. Take care! em

[__zh]

awesome to be able to revisit THREE years ago what we were thinking and feeling! also a bit sad to see the name changes or absent members. but have to have faith that they're in a better place and made choices that moved their lives forward in positive ways.

good to revisit and see the levels of denial back then. the levels of denial now and the changes in the three years.

at least now we're not in the care of others due to inability to care for self. progress can feel glacial (which nowadays can be rather rapid! ) but threads like this help us see where we've been, how we used to think and how we can approach similar situations now after three years of incredibly supportive therapy and *****in' pdoc assistance w/ meds.

PTSD in our case doesn't go away but it sure as heck changes over time and from this thread we can see positive changes. yey us!

[_Hope_]

when i was at my worst PTSD i could see hear feel smell everything that had happened in the past. one thinf my T suggested and it really worked was when i was feelling the pain and all the other sences like it was happening all over again i was to look in the mirror. It didn't help the 1st time but with some practice i could see my self in the mirror and nothing bad was happening and i could bring my self back to the here and now.

worked well for me , i don't think it would hurt if you gave it a try. In the mean time i hope it helps to know others have felt the same and you are not alone in this .
Linda

[gardenergirl]

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__zh said:

PTSD in our case doesn't go away but it sure as heck changes over time and from this thread we can see positive changes. yey us!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That's great!

gg

[Mouse_]

_ZH, That is awsome!