dreading therapy

I never know how to start or talk orwhat to bring back, I suffer with amnesia as soon as I go in sometimes, I am panicking so much about therapy today, I feel I dont want to go, I've just taken something to relax me, help i am falling so so bad, I have been posting positive in cc and am afraid to post my feelings today, I'm no fraud, but today I feel I am going backwards instead of forwards. I am remembering stuff, anxiety is gripping, I am wanting to bang my head against a wall again, sorry this is a rant, I want to cancel and go to bed and hide but I can;t let my therapist down. oh god I hate this. Flashbacks all the time, I need to calm down.

frightened, Jin

((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))

does your therapist know how much therapy scares you? have you said how you can't remember when you get in? it might help him/ her to understand you?

she knows I have amnesia, I can remember some things, it's just so hard to get it all in the right order

thankyou for replying, love, Jinny xoxoxoxoxo