Partner with PTSD.. how to comfort/help?

Hey there,

So I'm currently dating someone who is nothing but amazing all around and has treated me so great.
She has gone through a lot in her past and it is something that has obviously had a long-term effect on her. So from these events she has been diagnosed with depression & PTSD. She's told me a bit about the events and has informed me that sometimes she has these episodes from certain things that will trigger it. Which to me is understandable and she was concerned that I would leave and be too afraid or in over my head to deal with it. Which I reassured her I would always do the best that I possibly could to help her and comfort her through them and be by her side.

So the issue is a couple of things. There's some distance between us and I can't be at her side immediately when she needs me. She had an episode today and she kind of just blacked out and wouldn't move. I had never witnessed it before with her so I wasn't exactly sure of what to do. I tried to talk to her and remind her of some more positive things instead of what was going on in her head. It took some time and patience, but she came out of it.

So I guess what my questions are is: Has anyone experienced this with anyone before? What are some things that have helped you?

I hate to see her this way and not be able to help in person. If anyone has some kind of advice or helpful tools I would greatly appreciate it! I just want her to know that I'll be by her side through it all and help to the best I can.

Thank you guys in advance!

Best

J

I don't have any personal experience with this. But here are links to a bunch of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-can...hos-depressed/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-thin...hos-depressed/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-ways...illness/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...ression/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/thera...o-get-over-it/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...th-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...sed-loved-one/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...-relationship/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-a-tough-time/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-cha...onships/?all=1

I wish you well...

Hi there.

I have PTSD and I think the best thing you can do is talk to her about how you can be of help.I know for me,depending on what symptoms I am experiencing,I have different needs.

Sometimes I want my husband to just sit with me,sometimes just talk to me,sometimes I just need space and need to be left alone.Even after many years of marriage he tends to forget what I need at different times though and sometimes it makes things worse for me.Like when I need to be left alone,I mean COMPLETELY alone,and he almost always tries to talk to me and checks on me and I end up in worse shape.I wish he would write it all down or something(hey,maybe I should write it all down for him).

Since there is some distance between the two of you,I imagine this can get/be difficult.The only thing I know is you asking her how to help and what she needs and wants.

LISTEN. Let the person talk when they want to. Listening does not mean talking, it means listening. An occasional question to get to understand something is fine, but let the person direct it, let them be the subject, not you.