[(JD)]

Well I know why I am so hurt now...

about the Lounge problem... and the reason I'm posting here in PTSD!

My ptsd is perpetuated by the authorities in the insurance company and the management company and the attornies and adjuster NOT doing their jobs but weaseling out of it and not doing what is right and just
and fair... but what is self serving and cheap and oft times unethical.

well since John just said that we can talk about ppl all we want on his board.. here I go some...

it is because of HIM that I am so triggered over this issue. I was upset because of the talk about... well you all know that... but then, I felt blind sided by the webmaster!

I never said I spoke for him. Indeed, most all of us welcome others and make comments about what we know about the genre of the board.. and don't get your hands slapped... but I did. AND it came from the person in authority.

Instead of any support.... even a hint of being ethical... like yeah, lets not talk about that guy he hates... he slammed me (I feel that way)

and this post is about ME btw

exactly perpetuating the mechanics of the trauma dynamics after I got blasted by the newbies in the forum... he comes in and acts like them the authority figure isn't the adult.

I need to leave. I hope I can. I'm hating alot right now. I am really hurt. Okay I didn't do everything right but I didn't plan to hurt anyone I didn't call out any s/ns and I SAID I"M SORRY many times but no one accepted it and they have still kept on slamming me and he has allowed it... I begged for the thread to be pulled but he must be enjoying it to me, to allow it to continue is breaking the community rules... you aren't supposed to post that flames or harrasses... what he accused ME of doing in my little welcome but gee not in their ongoing trampling of me?

So now I think he is just like the guy he doesn't like maybe, researching how I react to this unfair treatment of his constant rule changing depending upon who you are.

Sorry people. I'm just too hurt... and too triggered. Maybe it's the med.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

Sky, we know who you are and you did not mean to wound anyone. I am so sorry for your pain. Please let it go and stay here with us and make me laugh on chat etc. Everyone sees things through their own colored lenses. Let it be. Peace to you my dear.

[(JD)]

Sorry, another case in point....

he triggered me.

I cannot let it go because this is the nature of PTSD. I was triggered because John is an authority figure that not only didn't act like it, but came down on me, for seemingly no reason.. or worse, in front of everyone... and he didn't grant my request and delete the thread (which would have ended much of the problem all the 'way round.)

It isn't so much the actualities... but the dynamics...

and it's PTSD at it's finest.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[mandala]

Skybdark,

I have been at other forums where posts and/or threads were deleted, either at the poster's request or at the whim of a moderator. My feeling is that posts, except in very extreme cases, should be left as they are. I think people should be held accountable for their words -- even words they would prefer, in retrospect, to take back. I, personally, have learned valuable lessons from having to "eat crow" and reread my own illadvised posts.

Having read the posts you refer to, these are my thoughts. Part of PTSD is that we project elements of past experiences onto present circumstances. In other words, Dr. Grohol may be an authority figure, and he may have disagreed with you, but I don't perceive him as having acted abusively. It can, admittedly, be very difficult to sort out what is present and what is past -- and I think you do a good thing for all by posting here with your feelings and concerns.

I hope you continue to try to ground yourself in the present and continue posting here about your frustration and pain.

I think it is a sign of a safe place that you CAN post here and object to Dr. Grohol's words without being banned, edited or otherwise penalized.

Best wishes, M

<div class="foot">(Edited by mandala on 08/02/04 07:22 PM.)</div>

[(JD)]

HELLO? Ok for you, I will say, please insert a comma (,) between the two words in my subject line so it reads, Sorry, People because you obviously are one of those ppl who read me wrong.

Now, I am not sorry for what I posted in the original post. Not for the words I posted, for the results it received.

Then, when it was misunderstood, and my trying to explain was further confusing... yeah I was more sorry about that.

That I requested long before all that took place, that the thread be deleted... and it was not... and therefore I posted my request...

no, I am not eating crow.

To allow that thread to continue like that sure it is good for everyone... everyone else. Not for me. Any "good" that might be coming from that could come from a new thread.

Not being supported is enough punishment. Having your hand slapped when you don't think you deserve it is another.

Anyway. I just see everyone who is a voyeur eating that thread up.

[Peanut61]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))))))))))))... I don't go in in the Traveler's section since the first day or so; is that where the problem is?

You have many friends on this board, (including me); I hope you will stay.

From what little I have observed, I don't see many of the new ppl interacting with the rest of the group on the other forums, (though, no doubt, there are exceptions to this), and I don't think I've really interacted much with many new ppl = I guess that's why I have been totally unaware of any issue until just now.

Another hug for ((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))).

Fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

tks peanut not really, the problem is inside me. the snerts just "made" it come out.

[(JD)]

Well. It's mostly the medicine I've been on... and titrating off of, perhaps by next week. Once it's gone from my system and my brain is functioning nicely, I will repost a suitable explanation and maybe even a n apology for my wordings.

But referring to the post I wanted deleted, hmmm. I have been here 6 months and seen many posts and threads deleted, even some of mine that were included in a wrong way thread... ok so I know it gets done...and then someone else asked to have a thread deleted for him/her and I chided no way, because what had been posted wasn't anywhere near inflamatory like mine had been taken, and mine was not deleted... and then his/her post WAS deleted and others razzed me that the other poster must be special since it was done. So I kind of lost it... it certainly did seemed personal. But I am sure the way of my reaction being more aggressive than assertive, is directly the cause of the Topamax.