[Jennifer1084]

I just thought I would share something with all of you. We are all survivors, all of different circumstances, but the thing is we are SURVIVORS we have SURVIVED. I guess I just really wanted to let you all know and remind you we all have survived for a reason. PC is a place where all of us SURVIVORS can come together and share with one another our story, our lives, our heart. I just feel compelled to post all of this.

I am really really excited, I have been for about 8 months now putting together this series of artwork. This is how I am telling my story. Today I made a huge step. I am sharing them with the public at an art show here where I live. I find out in about an hour how well I did. I am going to post pictures in the creative forum if any would like to see what I did.

I just wanted to share with you how I am SURVIVING.

Jennifer

[Imiimage]

that sounds very clever. i wish i could draw. we ARE survivors.

[skeksi]

You are very courageous and compassionate to share your story with the public. I am excited to hear how it went and see pics!

Thanks for the reminder. Often we feel like we are just getting by and it's nothing--surviving is something, indeed.

[Jennifer1084]

very very true, I completely agree.

Oh and found out I didn't win any of the first 20 awards

[ziggy1]

Glad to here your doing well Jennifer.....I agree...good luck

with art work and putting your story together.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN STRANGER...LOL....W/B........!!!

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((( Jennifer1084 )))))))))))
I think it's great that you are sharing your story through your art, it's very brave of you to share that with the public.

[(JD)]

Art is a wonderful medium, and always has been imo, for sharing what our experiences have been and are..and also for displaying our hopes for future living.

[Jennifer1084]

Yeah I know I haven't been around much. I have kind of been having a rough time for awhile. But things are really starting to look up for me. I am ready to move forward and start dealing with some things. I think it will help now that I am through the one year anniversary of the sexual assault. Though there have been many many hurdles. I had decided to move back into the assisted living in like March and well so I did, but I am ready to move past that too. I am getting my own place again. I have had alot of problems there where I was living. Actually my meeting I had last week with the two staff and my therapists went pretty bad, but it showed my therapists the reasoning behind me wanting to move. They said some very disrespectful things that really hurt me. They said that all I do is care about myself and everything always has to go my way and that when it doesn't I get upset and that all I do is play games. But I guess I don't agree because alot of who I am is trying to help others, that is why I am going into education, because I care. I don't know, I guess I am kind of venting now but I guess I've been needing to. But I did give my 30 day notice that day and though they said the things they said, I am going to move past it. It went so bad that one of my therapists asked one of them to go out in the hall with her and then the other one left too. They drove me way past my limit and I just broke out in tears during the meeting, it really hurt when they were just saying one negative comment after another, I don't know I guess I like to see myself as being a kind person who cares, someone that people can trust, hearing those things really hurt alot of how I see myself. I 'm sorry I am just a little upset because, well I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry everyone.

[pachyderm]

> They said that all I do is care about myself...

How terrible that you care about yourself...!

[freespirit1980]

Jennifer:

Therapists can tend to get real rigid at times. And when their method proves to not work with a patient, they blame it on them. I have seen that myself. I have only had one therapist that was worth a %#@&#! in 35 years.

I have found that my heart is my only true guide. I have to listen to it. It was telling me that my recent therapist of a year was not doing the job, so I fired her ***. I clearly made the right move.

And you made the right move too by choosing to get the hell out of that assisted living home.

[Jennifer1084]

I guess maybe I explained it all wrong, my therapists were deffinitely on my side. They support me and actually the whole time I was thinking I had to explain to them why I was moving out. But one therapist literally had to tell me to STOP I was trying to explain myself and she told me I don't have to do that. In fact she doesnt' want to be put in that role. She doesn't want to be one who tells me what I can and can't do, she said it's my decision and it should stay my decision and I don't have to try to pursuade her in any way. After that I realized what I had been doing to both of my therapists, I was putting them and their opinion above myself. I was thinking of them as being on a higher level than myself instead of being equal. I just wanted to clear that up I guess. The two people from the assisted living were not therapists, actually there isn't even a therapist who works at the assisted living. In fact the nurses there are not actual nurses, they are med aids, all but one. I don't know the place is really just negative. Though one of tne staff that was at the meeting did apologize to me yesterday, the other one didn't even look at me, but I don't care, I'm still not staying there.

Jennifer