Totally detached and emotionally dead.

I find myself totally avoiding anything to do with my mother's death.

Conversations, decisions, all of it. I can't deal with the emotion I know is buried under the cement, otherwise known as my heart, so I look the other way. I am multi-tasking like hell and damn good at it.

I am tired of dead people interfering in my life.

[(JD)]

This is a normal coping response to such. Try not to beat yourself up over how you are responding. It is what it is. Realize that this will pass. You will get through this. Maybe over more time it will lessen. Distract yourself from this thinking as much as you can, it's good self care. Waiting it out works, as you know.

[eskielover]

(((((((((orange-blossom))))))))))),

It took me over a year before I could even go into my mothers house & touch anything. At the year point, I was in outpatient therapy, still dealing with the trauma surrounding her death & was spending a few hours every day, just sitting there stearing at it all. It was an hour drive down to the outpatient treatment & my Mothers house was close to there, so that was why I would try while I was in therapy & had some help dealing with everything......the nightmares & flashbacks that just going into her house created was horrible.....strange how it was the same house I grew up in & the only visions I had were the ones at the end.

I was so angry at my Mother for everything because if she hadn't been her stupid self, nothing that happened would have happened......I still feel that way after 4 years, but have finally been able to open up a little about it all.....it takes time for us to let the mind sort through the thoughts & put them in the right place....for you it has been such a short time.....don't push yourself into thinking you shouldn't be feeling what you are feeling.....or sometimes not even knowing what those feelings are as they are just feelings without definition.

It will get better....you know from past experiences, but it won't be overnight & maybe not for years......but it will get better,
Debbie